Kuzul

Q.: How do you catch a flying squirrel?

A.: Climb a tree and act like a wing nut. (courtesy of an online source named Cap’n Tim, all rights reserved)

Actually, if you’re the Miller Park grounds crew, you import the the now-infamous Cardinals Rally Squirrel(s) and keep them well fed and spunky; the Cards’ NLDS foes, the Phreaked-out Phillies, were a bit undone by the furry fellas. 

Geez, guys. Really? The best starting rotation in baseball, a Murderers’ Row lineup and home field advantage, and you were (partially) undone by a squirrel? That’s just nuts. 

The Phillies’ nuts—er, sensitivities—aside, this year’s division series featured some serious choke jobs.

Some of the games were played to less than full houses—in multiple venues. That’s an embarrassment for the involved franchises, Commissioner Selig and the game itself. 

As for the goats, here’s my Bottom 10. 

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Yeeech.

Losing three of four in Atlanta was disappointing. 

But getting steamrolled by the hapless 40-85 Houston Astros in the opener of a three-game weekend series? That’s senseless. And pitiful.

Here’s senseless: Pablo Sandoval hurts his left shoulder twisting a stubborn soda bottle cap and is out of Friday’s lineup (just joshing; he hurt it swinging the bat Thursday in Atlanta).

Here’s pitiful: the Giants infield Friday consisted of Huff at 1B, Fontenot at 2B, Tejada at SS, DeRosa at 3B. I affectionately call that group the O-Gang, as in: nO offense, Old, and Oh-my-gosh-these-guys-look-awful.

Sorry for the sarcasm. How else are we going to get through this?

Atlanta did defeat Arizona Friday, so the Giants NL West deficit remains two-and-a-half games. It only feels like it’s seven.

So what comes next? Locusts in the clubhouse? Bed bugs in the players’ hotel rooms? No cold beer at the hotel bar for Aubrey Huff? Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, here are five things to watch for as the Giants continue this dreadful road trip. 

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Hey Giants fans, how about those trade-deadline deals? 

In 10 games with Carlos Beltran, the Giants are 2-8. They’ve scored an aggregate 23 runs—eight in one game, 15 in the other nine combined. 

Not exactly the energy boost GM Brian Sabean had hoped for.   

Based on Friday night’s scrum with the Phillies, the Giants are clearly ready for a special pay-per-view MLB UFC smackdown (maybe it could supplement their ongoing Showtime series, The Season).

I’ll bet the Giants’ crack marketing department is all over it.

Meanwhile, Sabean and manager Bruce Bochy shuffle the deck, hoping to uncover (and recover) some 2010 magic.

Jonathan Sanchez is back in the rotation. Barry Zito has gone back to the disabled list.

Mark DeRosa has been activated. Brandon Belt has been optioned to Fresno.

This season is far from lost—being tied for first place with 48 games to play isn’t reason to panic—but doesn’t it seem as if the Good Ship Giants has stalled?

From this writer’s outside-in view, things are in danger of getting even worse. Here are five obstacles standing in the way of a Giants NL West title repeat. 

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It happened in the fifth inning of Friday night’s eventual 3-2 walk-off win by San Francisco over Cincinnati. 

Giants second baseman Freddie Sanchez made a full-extension dive to his right to stop a ground ball from escaping the infield. 

Sanchez corralled the ball before collapsing in a heap, writhing in pain clutching his right arm. Manager Bruce Bochy told reporters after the game that Sanchez had suffered a dislocated shoulder and would be more fully evaluated Saturday.

If it is a “simple” dislocation, his absence might be confined to a few weeks. Early indications are that Sanchez will be on the disabled list for 15 days. That’s encouraging news.

Bochy does the “stiff upper lip” thing as well as any manager, but even he appeared a bit ashen while discussing this latest in a series of devastating injuries to key contributors.

How much more of this can his club absorb?

And how will the Giants adapt? Here are six options after the Freddie Sanchez injury.

(Update: The Giants signed former Astro Bill Hall earlier today; see option #6 for comment)

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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Bruce Bochy

Manager, San Francisco Giants

24 Willie Mays Plaza

San Francisco, CA

Dear Bruce,

We don’t know each other. I’m just a lowly amateur scribe trying to comprehend some of the personnel decisions you’ve been making. 

I know, I know. Seems audacious that an average Joe like me would be second-guessing decisions by a World Series champion manager like you.

Thing is, I think many of our readers are as curious as I am about some of your recent moves. 

Oh, if you’re wondering: these things were bugging me before Buster Posey’s injury; I’m not interesting in fueling any of the post-Posey panic.

Yours,

Barry

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