Kuzul

My first weekend without Yankee baseball had me feeling how I imagine Mark Teixeira feels before his postseason at-bats: confused, helpless, and resigned to a fate that cannot be avoided.

The World Series is starting on Wednesday, and I can tell you I’ll probably only have a cursory interest in it. Whenever the team that eliminated the Yankees advances to the Fall Classic, I have trouble rooting for anything but horrible things to happen to the American League entrant.

So, instead of sitting in front of my television pulling for recreational drug relapses, I’m going to keep my attention on the Yankees. More specifically, it’s time to examine the state of the Core Four.

Ah yes. You’ve heard of this group, correct? From now until Cliff Lee becomes a free agent, the status of free agents Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, and Mariano Rivera will be the dominant topic regarding the team.

Ultimately, I expect each of the players, including Jorge Posada — who’s under contract through 2011 — back in pinstripes come spring time. It’s hardly a given though.

Rivera turns 41 in a week, and has always struck me as the type of player who would abruptly retire before being the guy who hung around a year too long. I just can’t picture Mo going on the Roger Clemens-patented victory lap tour, can you?

Andy Pettitte was talking like a man ready to hang it up on Friday night, but let’s face it, Andy’s been saying that stuff since he was 32. I think he’s always underestimated how much it means to him to compete. God is great, and so are the wife and kids in Texas, but shutting down the Red Sox on a September afternoon in Fenway Park is a different animal altogether.

And Jeter? Put it this way, it’s going to take a major, major catastrophe in communication for Jeter not to re-sign in the next month or so. For how long and for how much is really all there is to debate. That’s not to say the negotiations don’t have the potential to turn cantankerous. The mediocre nature of Jeter’s walk season have made things much more complicated than they would’ve been had his contract run out a year ago.

Here at River & Sunset, we’re all about distilling complicated issues down to a base form that everyone can understand. This is one of the trickiest free agent periods in Yankee history, so let’s break down the different ways in which it can play out for the Core Four.

JORGE POSADA

Best-case scenario

Motivated by talk that the Yankees will move on in 2012, Posada re-dedicates himself and has the best season ever by a 38-year-old catcher. Not only is he productive, he is lauded by the front office for his tutelage of uber prospect Jesus Montero, now his backup. The Yankees re-sign him to a one-year deal to become a player/coach in 2012, he retires and becomes Girardi’s bench coach in 2013, then ascends to manager later that season when Girardi’s binder — now well over 40 pounds in weight by this point — falls from the top of a tall file cabinet and hits him in the head, rendering him a simpleton. His wife, the spectacular Laura Posada, poses for Playboy.

Worst-case scenario

Posada suffers through an injury-plagued 2011, and becomes such a liability behind the plate that he is essentially a designated hitter by July 1. He resents Montero, and chooses not to help him in his adjustment to the big leagues. His relationship with Girardi, already rocky prior to the season, gets physical when the manager asks Posada to take Ramiro Pena’s job as official ceremonial first pitch catcher. Laura Posada poses for Playboy, then leaves him for 84-year-old walking corpse Hugh Hefner. Posada moves to Fort Lauderdale and replaces Jim Leyritz as the city’s most notable alcoholic ex-Yankee catcher.

Most-probable scenario

Posada gets around 400 at-bats in 2011, hitting 17 homers with 68 RBI. He remains a liability defensively, but the bulk of the work behind the plate goes to Montero anyway, which Posada is fine with, seeing the youngster’s potential. The Yankees offer Po a one-year deal in reduced role in 2012, but he opts to retire. At around that time his Hall of Fame credentials will be discussed vociferously, with Mike Francesa giving the hand wave to anyone who doesn’t think Posada belongs in Cooperstown. “Yawhhre lawwwwst!” Posada disappears from the public eye for a few years to spend more time with his hot wife and young children in suburban Rockland County, N.Y. He returns as a Yankee coach by the end of the decade.

ANDY PETTITTE

Best-case scenario

Pettitte signs a one-year deal for $10 million, then never misses a turn through the Yankees’ rotation all season. He becomes the oldest left-hander to win 20 games in the modern era. He’s once again the team’s rock in the October, winning three more starts to build on his own record for postseason victories. After the season, he hems and haws about retirement, then signs his third consecutive one-year deal. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Worst-case scenario

Pettitte retires. He returns to Deer Park, Texas, then quickly realizes how boring it is when you have nothing to do and live in Deer Park, Texas. He shoots a few more Dove “Journey To Comfort” commercials, and when the company discontinues the campaign, he starts making his kids shoot fake commercials of him using the family camcorder. Roger Clemens moves into the guest house and starts eating all the food. The Yankees come calling in July and Pettitte’s out the door before Brian Cashman hangs up the phone. Unfortunately, an arm injury derails his comeback. On the back page of the Post, a picture of a crestfallen Andy is accompanied by the headline, “Journey to (Elbow) Discomfort”.

Most-probable scenario

Pettitte returns on a one-year deal for $10 million. He has one DL stint for a leg injury of some kind, but still makes 27 starts, winning 14 games. He remains a very capable No. 3 starter, and the team trusts him fully come playoff time. When Posada announces he’s not returning, Pettitte takes it as a sign that the time has come for him as well. He retires as one of the winningest pitchers in franchise history. His PED admission keeps him out of the Hall of Fame, but the Yankees retire his number and he joins the YES team as a part-time analyst shortly thereafter.

MARIANO RIVERA

Best-case scenario

The Yankees and Rivera come to terms on a two-year deal, $30 million deal. Mo doesn’t show any signs of slippage, astonishing baseball experts. He retires as MLB‘s all-time saves leader, with his reputation as the game’s best postseason reliever ever firmly intact. Dave Roberts is caught in a Dateline “To Catch A Predator” sting, where Rivera — serving in a Steven Seagal-like celebrity deputy role — tases the former Red Sox outfielder as “Enter Sandman” blasts from a nearby police cruiser.

Worst-case scenario

Rivera returns, but from the onset of spring training, it’s clear that his cutter has lost considerable movement and velocity. He is rocked for two straight months before the Yankees reluctantly remove him from closer’s role. Metallica sues Yankee Stadium claiming copyright infringement, and Rivera is forced to change his entrance song to Miley Cyrus’ “Party In The U.S.A.” Rivera is DFA’d in August and, in desperate need of cash following the Metallica lawsuit, takes Wade Boggs’ place as celebrity spokesman for Medical Hair Restoration. Tragically, the procedure fails for Rivera, rendering him a ghoulish freak.

Most-probable scenario

The Yankees and Rivera come to terms on a two-year deal, $30 million deal. He becomes less reliable on back-to-back days, which leads Girardi to become more judicious about how he uses him. As a result, Rivera’s save total drops to the 25-30 range. Following the 2013 season, he retires and opens a monastery in his native Panama. On his periodical returns to the Stadium, fans lose their shit. If they’re smart, Yankees will have the G.O.A.T. make his entrance on Mariano Rivera Day through the bullpen doors accompanied by James Hetfield’s menacing guitar intro.

DEREK JETER

Best-case scenario

Jeter signs a five-year, $75 million deal. He changes his workout and diet regiment, and turns back the clock in the process, winning the Silver Slugger award in back-to-back years. He moves to left field in 2013, and through sheer will and determination, he makes himself an above-average defender at the position. The Yankees win the World Series in four of his last five seasons and he retires tied with Yogi Berra for most rings all time. He leaves the game with 3,803 hits, ranking him third all-time. His marriage to Minka Kelly is a successful and fruitful one, with many baby shortstops and smokin’ brunettes created.

Worst-case scenario

Jeter’s contract negotiations with the Yankees turn nasty, and in a desperate grab for attention, the Mets steal him away with a four year, $72 million deal. He gets the Mets stank on him and his offense and defense falls off a cliff, forcing stat geeks to completely recalibrate how they tabulate UZR. Minka Kelly turns out to be a gold digging monster who leaves him for Ken Huckaby, the scrub catcher who dislocated Jeter’s shoulder in 2003. He retires a rich, but very bitter man, rarely leaving his mansion. He eventually beats a errand boy to death with a bowling pin and lives out the rest of his life behind the walls of a Florida state penitentiary, where cellmate Jim Leyritz never stops talking about Game 4 of the ’96 Series.

Most-probable scenario

The Yankees offer Jeter a three-year $50 million deal with a host of post-retirement perks. He shops it around, realizes a better deal for a 36-year-old shortstop isn’t coming, and signs the contract. He bounces back from his 2010 season with a much more Jeter-like 2011, finishing with a .300 average and 190 hits. His defense at shortstop slips, but he gives the team an out by volunteering to work in the outfield. By the final year of his deal, he’s a LF/DH guy and .270 hitter. He retires with 3,420 hits and is elected to the Hall of Fame five years later. He becomes the team’s greatest living icon and is the main attraction of every Old-Timers Day for 40 years. He’s a legend, considered an equal alongside Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, and Mantle.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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I think it finally sunk in for me right around the time Josh Hamilton was explaining to a live television audience how God allows him to hit baseballs far.

The Yankees were done. Dead. Finito. Their quest to repeat as world champions had come to an abrupt end in, of all places, the land of Friday Night Lights.

How did we get here?

No sport approaches baseball in the personal connection fostered between fan and team. For three hours a day, six to seven months a year, you’re along for a ride with more twists and turns than a Swisher-approved episode of Gossip Girls. If you devour all the Internet content, read the newspapers, listen to talk radio or write a dopey blog, you go in even deeper.

And then just like that, with nine innings, a few bad pitches, and a handful of listless at-bats, it’s all over. It’s a genuinely painful shift in reality, hard for your girlfriend to understand, but even more difficult to come to grips with yourself.

You shouldn’t care this much. And yet, you do.

The 6-1 loss in Game 6 served as a microcosm for how the Yankees buried themselves in the first place: Bad starting pitching, porous middle relief, and an offense stuck in a perpetual stoned haze.

Make no mistake, the Rangers very much deserved the pennant. The Yankees knocked them down in Game 1 and they had the guts to pop right back up. When the Rangers returned the favor in Game 2, the Yankees never seemed to recover. In retrospect, it’s a minor miracle the series lasted six games.

What’s frustrating as a Yankees fan is that you knew this team had the potential to perform far better than it did. They just fell flat at the worst time.

That’s what makes the postseason such a different animal than the six months of baseball that precedes it. Fall into a funk in July, and you have plenty of time to straighten yourself out. Fall into a funk in October, you’re going home.

I think what made Game 6 especially painful was that there was a collective belief amongst fans that the Yankees would find a way to get the series to Pettitte vs. Lee for the whole damn thing. It would have been a great matchup, and certainly would have made for fine baseball theater.

But just as they had all season, the Yankees zigged when you thought they would zag. Predicting anything with them was impossible. Maybe this was the only way it made sense in the end.

We all know that Colby Lewis is little more than an above-average pitcher. Superstars don’t usually do two-year tours in Japan unless they’re Jessie & The Rippers.

And yet, Lewis beat the Yankees twice in the ALCS, the second time with relative ease. It was the type of performance the Yankees hoped they were going to get out of Phil Hughes.

This isn’t Hughes’ fault—at least not his alone. He had long since obliterated his personal high for innings pitched in a season, and was clearly running on fumes in the end. And remember, he was only put in this position of responsibility because A.J. Burnett forgot how to pitch.

Is it disappointing that Hughes was unable to make The Leap? I suppose, especially when you factor in the expectations that have followed him since he was 20 years old. But ultimately, this failure was a team effort.

The Yankees broke down in all phases of the game. Were the Rangers really that much better? That’s certainly debatable, but there’s no questioning who was the better team over six games.

Even so, media types will paint this outcome as some type of grand upset, David slaying the mighty Goliath. That A-Rod made the final out, the man the Rangers once gave $252 million to save their franchise, only enhances that angle.

I get that. The general populace needs a team to hate in every major sport. In the NFL, it’s the Cowboys. In college hoops, it’s Duke. In the NBA, it’s become the Heat. In the NHL, it’s…um…you know, that one team with all the skates.

The Yankees are obviously that team in baseball. How could it be anyone else?

Being a fan of the team everyone else hates is more fun than you might think. ESPN’s Bill Simmons has said that rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for the dealer in black jack.

That’s fine with me. The dealer does get taken from time to time, just like what happened to the Yankees on Friday. But ultimately, these type of things are only temporary.

Don’t you know the house always wins?

Stray thoughts:

• I’ll get into this in the next couple of days, but the Core Four enters the offseason at a crossroads. Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, and Mariano Rivera are all free agents. Jorge Posada has one year left on his deal. If I had to guess, I’d say they’ll all be back next year. But 2011 may be the end of the line for the unit as complete group.

• Did the Yankees put up some ghastly numbers in this series or what? They hit .217 as a team and had an ERA of 6.58. With runners in scoring position they were 5-for-41 (.151). They were outscored 38-19. I’ll ask you again, how in Josh Hamilton’s savior’s name did this series get to a sixth game?

• David Robertson, you let me down son. All season, I thought of Robertson as a difference-maker come playoff time. Instead, he fell flat on his face. The two-run homer he allowed to Cruz was the real knockout blow on the season. You could see the Yankees emotionally check out after that.

• Like it or not, the Yankees will try to work out a deal for Joe Girardi and his binder to return in 2011. What other option do they have (don’t say Torre, don’t say Torre, don’t say Torre…)?

• More (potential) bad news for Yankee fans: Say the Rangers win it all, and Cliff Lee does his Cliff Lee thing two more times, winning the World Series MVP in the process. Very feasible, right? Now tell me how the Rangers will allow Lee walk as a free agent? I think they pony up the dough and he stays.

• Lastly, I want to thank everyone who has been reading River & Sunset during the postseason and all season. The blog has really made strides in ’10, and like the Yankees, we plan on getting better in the offseason and beyond.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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If you’re like me, you weren’t quite mentally ready for the early start time that came with Game 5 of the ALCS.

Like a Saw sequel, it just felt rushed. Only hours earlier, the Yankees had bumbled their way to a lopsided Game 4 loss to the Rangers at the Stadium.

I had spent a good portion of the night on the phone with my Dad, trying to convince him that the police would almost certainly investigate the sudden disappearance of Joe Girardi.

And while I dealt with defusing short-sighted abduction plots, I also had to squelch the pangs of dread I had thinking about the Yankees’ chances in Game 5.

There was plenty to be worried about: The disheartening nature of Tuesday’s loss, the season-ending injury to Mark Teixeira, the continued erosion of the bullpen, the curious ineffectiveness of CC Sabathia. There were more questions than answers.

Then there was the date. October 20. Only a masochist like myself would know that as the date Yankee Universe lost its innocence. October 20, 2004. 10/20. Never forget.

So yeah, I was dealing with demons that even Josh Hamilton could respect.

But that’s the funny thing about this Yankee team. Just when you have them pegged a certain way, they dart in the opposite direction. There’s no possible way to know what to expect.

How else do you explain how loose New York came out in Game 5?

It was the Yankees, not the Rangers, who played like they had house money. Texas gagged with runners on base, Texas made the mental mistakes, Texas threw the ball around the field like the Bad News Bears.

The five runs the Yankees put up by the fourth inning is typically more than enough for Sabathia, who all season cruised through the starts in which his team gave him an early lead.

But this is a different Sabathia than we saw in the spring and summer months. Gone is the pitcher with ace-stuff imposing his will on the opposition. He’s been replaced by a pitcher whose every start is a war of attrition.

Sabathia gave up 11 (11!) hits in six innings of work, somehow escaping with just two runs to his ledger. I remarked during my live blog that it may have been the worst good start in the history of the sport.

What does the win mean? It’s hard to say at this point. If Phil Hughes pitches like he did last Saturday, the Yankees’ Game 5 guile and Sabathia’s gutsy effort will be forgotten.

But I like the Yankees’ chances against Colby Lewis in Game 6. Up and down the lineup, the Yankees were getting good swings on Wednesday. Both Nick Swisher and Curtis Granderson snapped out of funks with homers.

Alex Rodriguez continues to hit the ball hard. Jorge Posada showed some life. Derek Jeter is quietly having a nice series. Robinson Cano keeps destroying everything thrown in his general vicinity.

An offensive breakout is certainly possible.

The Rangers will likely be more at ease in their own house, making stupid hand gestures and feeding off 40,000 fans wearing really stupid shirts. But I’m wondering how a still very inexperienced team reacts if the Yankees score first?

Cliff Lee remains a beautiful security blanket, but if the Yankees can get the negative thoughts to creep into the Rangers’ heads, anything is possible.

Like I said about 10/20 … never forget.

Stray thoughts:

• Even if the Yankees go out like lambs in Game 6, at least fans don’t have to sit through a visiting team celebrating at the Stadium. I had the great fortune of being at each of the last two such celebrations in the Bronx: the aforementioned 10/20 and Game 5 of the ’07 ALDS against Indians, perhaps better known as The Night Chien-Ming Wang Crapped Himself In Front of 57,000 People.

• I don’t want to kick dirt on the man’s grave, but did anybody miss Teixeira today? Kind of feels like Cano should have been batting in the three-hole for weeks.

• Speaking of Cano, how good is this guy? Four homers through five games in the ALCS. Here’s a question for you: Is Cano now the best player the Yankees have?

• Silver lining if Yanks lose on Friday: No more Ernie Johnson in your life. Even better, you’ll be done listening to John Smoltz openly root for young Texas pitchers to escape jams. That dude seriously hasn’t gotten over 1996 yet. I think he talks about it four times a broadcast.

• Aaron Boone and Bucky Dent threw out the ceremonial first pitch. Ramiro Pena was the catcher, because catching ceremonial first pitches is Ramiro Pena’s only role with the Yankees.

• “Let’s go, two more, two more!” — Swisher, to teammates after the final out.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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Grady Little is forever remembered as the manager who was fired on the demerit of a single postseason game. Joe Girardi will probably avoid that same fate, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve it.

It’s hard to imagine Girardi having a worse game than he did on Tuesday at Yankee Stadium. That he had such a bad night, with the stakes being as high as they were, is damn near unforgivable.

Put it this way: If The Boss was alive and still The Boss, reports of Girardi’s disappearance would have already been circulating around the Internet.

Girardi manages like a tortured man. The game of baseball doesn’t seem fun to him, at least not in his current role. If Charlie Manuel is the type of manager who goes with his gut then lets it play out without regret, Girardi represents the exact opposite.

Things fester. His neurosis consumes him. It even manifests itself physically in the veins that bulge from his neck as he stares onto the field.

In Game 4, we watched many of Girardi’s internal fears about his team collapse onto one another, plot lines tying together like a cruel Seinfeld episode.

“How much can I get from A.J.?” “Can Joba be trusted?” “How should I handle Posada and Cervelli?” “Can I get by with someone other than Mo?”

Every button he pushed was like a nuclear launch. By the time he made his final horrible decision of the evening—inserting Sergio Mitre over Rivera in the ninth—it was almost comical. Almost.

There was one inning in particular that both typified Girardi’s awful night and likely doomed the Yankees‘ season.

With a man on second and two outs in the sixth, Girardi decided to intentionally walk David Murphy to get to Bengie Molina. He had Joba Chamberlain warming in the bullpen, only problem was, he had long lost any semblance of trust in the reliever. This lack of faith was pronounced enough that leaving in Burnett seemed like an acceptable alternative, even after the right-hander nearly threw an intentional ball to the screen.

Had Girardi been thinking clearly at the moment, he would have understood that two runs in five-and-two-thirds innings was more than the Yankees could have ever asked for from Burnett. The grotesque nature of Burnett’s regular season demanded a leash that was short and unforgiving. And yet, instead of bringing in Chamberlain, he trusted a man who hadn’t pitched in 17 days before Tuesday.

Burnett didn’t reward his skipper’s faith. Molina drilled the next pitch into the seats in left, dragging his impressive gut around the bases and into a jubilant Rangers dugout. He likely took the Yankees’ hopes of repeating as champs with him.

Does Burnett deserve blame? Of course. But remember that part of a manager’s job is to protect a player from himself. Girardi should’ve known better than to ask for extra outs from a 15-game loser. He left Burnett in to hang himself. And that’s exactly what he did.

Is there any way to recover at this point? Conceivably, yes. A team as recently as 2007 (Boston over Cleveland) overcame a 3-1 deficit to win the pennant. But it’s hard to shake the nagging feeling that the Yankees you saw in September have returned when the games count the most.

CC Sabathia gets one more start to salvage what has been a disconcerting end to a Cy Young caliber season. If he can get it done, Phil Hughes will have to get back on the rubber in Arlington, where he was picked apart on Saturday. The Yankees survive that, they get to face the invincible Cliff Lee in a Game 7.

The odds are—as they say—not good.

I wondered all season if this Yankees team had the character to make a memorable October run. As they faded in September I was convinced for sure they didn’t … but then watched in amazement as they started winning playoff games like it was 1996 all over again.

Yeah, I’ll admit it. They sucked me in. I know I’m not alone, either. But these last four days are now making me wonder if I was right about them all along.

So who are these Yankees? The proud defending champs with the ability to overcome any obstacle, or just another team loaded with All-Stars but not enough character to translate that to lasting success?

I honestly have no idea. I guess we’ll know by tonight.

Stray thoughts:

• It’s fitting that Mark Teixeira’s worst season as a pro ended with him crumpled on the first-base bag after another frustrating, empty at-bat. The LoHud Blog reports it’s a six to eight week hamstring injury, problematic since the Yankees’ season may have just 12 hours left in it.

• This was a weird game, wasn’t it? You had a Jeffrey Maier redux with this glorious mongo in right field, and a Steve Bartman redux with this bloated corporate Legends Seat doofus down the third-base line. Love those types of nights, especially since they usually end with a Yankee win. Alas.

• Something tells me we just witnessed Joba Chamberlain’s final performance in pinstripes. Anybody upset about this?

• Nick Swisher, you have to do a better job selling your hit-by-pitch in the eighth inning. Had he rightfully taken first, it’s a 7-4 game with bases still loaded, only one out, and the incredibly mortal Darren Oliver on the mound. The game could have gone in a lot of different directions at that point. Emblematic of a frustrating night.

• Great line from the homer hero Molina: “It’s not bad for a fat kid that everyone makes fun of when he runs.”

• Make no mistake: The Rangers are dominating this series. Texas has outscored the Yankees 30-11, outhit them 43-26 and would have already closed this out if not for wasting a five-run lead in Game 1. New York is hitting a pathetic .154 (6-for-39) with runners in scoring position. The recession must have claimed the jobs of Aura and Mystique.

• Finally, I’ll be live blogging Game 5 tomorrow afternoon. If you’re stuck at work, click over to me and watch me slowly lose my mind in real time like the dude from Grizzly Man. Good times!

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

Let’s face it: The Yankees are very fortunate they’re not preparing to face Cliff Lee tonight trying to avoid a 3-0 hole in the ALCS.

That reality wasn’t far off. If you want to break it down, you could say the Yankees were outplayed in 16 of the 18 innings in Arlington. Luckily, the two innings New York had the upper hand were the last two in Game 1’s unlikely comeback.

Now they face the much bally-hooed Lee, who it seems has been preordained for glory before he ever steps on the mound at Yankee Stadium.

Never mind the fact that the Yankees have actually had some success against the left-hander (including last year in the World Series), or that New York counters with one of the best postseason pitchers who ever lived.

Oh right. Andy Pettitte. People always seem to forget about Andy Pettitte. For those a little murky on the subject, here’s a quick refresher:

• 240 career victories
• Five World Series rings
• Won clinching game in all three rounds of 2009 postseason
• Went 11-3 with a 3.28 ERA in 2010 regular season
• Has 19 postseason wins
• Pitched seven strong innings in ALDS victory over Twins
• Recently completed a well-documented journey to comfort
• Allowed two runs in eight innings to beat Texas in April
• Is 7-1 in 11 career ALCS starts

The way the Yankees’ chances in this game are being described, you’d think Melido Perez was getting a spot start. Don’t sleep on the type of competitor Pettitte is, either. You think he hasn’t noticed how the media has fawned over Lee and crowned him as the best left-hander since Sandy Freaking Koufax?

I don’t doubt that Lee will pitch well tonight. Just don’t be surprised if this becomes a battle of the bullpens, where both starters do their jobs well and we head to the eighth inning with a 2-2 game.

I think that’s more likely than the current populace prediction: Lee channels Steve Nebraska in The Scout, strikes out 27 straight on 81 pitches, hits two homers, cures A.I.D.S. then opens a successful chain of T.G.I. Friday’s restaurants around greater Dallas.

I think all that happened in The Scout. I tend not to see Brendan Fraser movies more than once, unless that movie is called Encino Man.

My friend Howie is a season ticket holder who also doubles as the most pessimistic Yankee fan alive. I’m usually talking him off the ledge — he famously declared the 2009 Yanks dead in May, and had he been around in the 1920s, he would have railed against Babe Ruth’s lack of closing speed on balls hit in the gap. But I can’t argue with his theory that New York needs to take two out of three in the Bronx to have any chance here.

Going down 3-2 just seems a steep hill to climb with the starting pitching being as suspect as it has been. Even CC Sabathia has dropped down to “show me” status until he can put together seven or eight strong innings.

Joe Torre always said that Game 3 was the most important game of any playoff series. I’m inclined to agree. Are the Yankees done if they can’t beat Lee and the Rangers tonight? Nah. But a sense of dread will certainly start to creep into the proceedings.

Stray thoughts:

• I mentioned this during my live blog, but it’s worth bringing up again. Mark Teixeira is now a .183 (15-for-82) hitter in the postseason as a member of the New York Yankees. I’m no face and body language expert, but it appears Teixeira’s head might explode if he gets any tighter at the plate. Relax T-800. Relax.

• His final two at-bats on Saturday aside, Robinson Cano looks locked in right now. I expect more big things from him tonight. No left-handed hitter had more homers off lefties than Cano in ’10. Cliff Lee throws with his left arm. This is literary device called foreshadowing.

• Among pitchers not named Mariano, I don’t think I trust any reliever in the Yankees bullpen more than David Robertson. Joe Girardi seems set in the idea of Kerry Wood as the eighth-inning guy right now, however. I’m still uneasy about this.

• Regarding Cliff Lee and the Stuff On His Hat: I’m going to assume he’s a cheater and a liar and a crook until it’s proved otherwise. And what about his last name? Am I supposed to believe it’s really Lee? I think there’s some Don Draper/Dick Whitman stuff going on here.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

The Yankees shocked the Rangers with an epic late-inning comeback in Game 1 of the ALCS on Friday night, and now Texas will have to figure out a way to get off the mat less than 24 hours later. New York sends right-hander Phil Hughes to the mound opposite Colby Lewis.

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In the 1999 movie Unbreakable, the character played by Samuel L. Jackson explained that the incredible fragility of his bone structure, the reason he was derisively known as Mr. Glass, was directly tied to the fact that Bruce Willis’ character was seemingly invincible.

Mr. Glass reasoned that if there’s someone in the world who represents the extreme on one end, then the universe must have a person somewhere who represents the opposite end of the spectrum.

It made Jackson and Willis natural foes, and their relationship served as the crux of one of the last decent movies M. Night Shyamalan made before people started exiting theaters saying things like, “Hey, how long do you think M. Night has been hiding his brain injury?”

I bring this up because if you caught the camera shot of Nolan Ryan after the Yankees rallied to go ahead of the Rangers on Friday night—rotten scowl, arms folded, chin melded to his chest—you know that I was 1,500 miles away with the exact opposite expression.

If you’ve been caught off-guard by this resourceful, tenacious side of the Yankees, you’re not alone. This was a championship-caliber win, the type of victory I never thought this team had in them as recently as 10 days ago.

CC Sabathia gets knocked out of the game after four innings, you expect to lose. Your offense goes silent for six straight innings to begin the game, you figure you have no shot. Fall down five runs, on the road, in a playoff game, you should probably pack it in. And yet, the Yankees will wake up on Saturday morning with a 1-0 lead in the best-of-seven ALCS.

It couldn’t have been done without the following people:

Dustin Moseley: The casual Yankee fan sitting next to you at the bar had no idea who Moseley was when he entered the game. Even you may have only known the right-hander as the guy who is (slightly) better than Chad Gaudin. But Moseley’s two scoreless innings turned out to be huge for a Yankee team that trailed 5-0 by the time Sabathia was pulled from the game. Moseley was credited with his first postseason victory. It was much deserved.

Brett Gardner: He’s gritty, he’s gutty, and now he has his signature moment as a Yankee. Gardner’s hustle infield single leading off the eighth inning — including poorly thought-out headfirst slide! — seemed harmless at the time, but it became the spark that ignited the Yankees’ winning rally. Bonus points are in order for Gardy giving Craig Sager the “You don’t expect me to take you seriously?” look throughout his postgame interview.

Derek Jeter: I wrote on Wednesday that I thought that Jeter would rise to the occasion in the ALCS; his usual October brilliance melding with a final opportunity to gain leverage in upcoming contract negotiations. So far, so good for Jeter, who doubled twice in Game 1. His first two-bagger drove in Gardner, sending New York’s classic rally into overdrive.

Alex Rodriguez: A-Rod was having a night to forget until the top of the eighth (0-for-3, error), when his bases-loaded double quieted the Arlington crowd and drew the Yankees within one run. It was type of hit that Rodriguez regularly delivered during the 2009 postseason, and it proved No. 13’s flair for the dramatic remains intact.

Ron Washington: I don’t want to be too hard on Washington, who was betrayed by his bullpen and probably would be a great dude to listen to old jazz records with. But his decision not to turn to Neftali Feliz as the game unraveled in the eighth was ripe for first-, second- and third-guessing. Having a lefty come in to face Marcus Thames in a tie game wasn’t the wisest move, either.

Ian Kinsler: Can’t get picked off there, bro. Just can’t happen. This is the playoffs, meat.

President George W. Bush: In fairness, Dubya wasn’t really to blame for the Rangers’ mess, but his attendance at the game did lead to the tweet of the night by ESPN the Magazine senior writer @jorgearangure: “I bet George W Bush authorized a sign that read “Mission Accomplished” after the 7th inning.” Ouch.

Mariano Rivera: You can gauge how big a win is by how Mo reacts after getting the final out. In this case, it was both a passionate fist pump and shout. That’s a 9/10 on the Mo Scale. Allowing the leadoff single to pinch-hitter Mitch Moreland led to some tense moments, but Rivera got it done like he has so many times before. Beating Michael Young and Josh Hamilton to end it was no easy feat, the G.O.A.T. just made it look that way.

Stray thoughts:

• It seemed like glorified mop-up duty at the time, but at least Joba Chamberlain can finally say he has a place in the 2010 postseason. Pretty amazing that he’s went from future of the franchise to playoff fringe guy in little over a year. Will this reality serve as a wake up call that makes him work harder to improve himself in the off-season? Or are we watching the start of a descent into oblivion? Vegas has even odds.

• Derek Jeter Contract Watch: Four years, $52 million (up one year, $7 million since beginning of ALCS).

• Must admit I was pretty disappointed by Sabathia’s performance. There was an undeniable Chien-Ming-Wang-in-’07-ALDS stench to the whole proceedings. Clearly the layoff affected him, but he seemed genuinely rattled at times as well. The big man needs to be better. A lot better.

• Funny how the “Yankees suck!” chants in Arlington died down by the late innings. Weird how that works.

• Will be interesting to see how Rangers bounce back from a truly wretched defeat. A weaker team (see: Twins, Minnesota) would lay down and die after a loss like that. We’ll find out how Washington’s bunch reacts on Saturday.

• Phil Hughes’ career numbers in Arlington: 15 IP, 3 H, 0 R, 4 BB, 13 K, 1 no-hitter ruined by a douchechill hamstring. I’m just sayin’ …

• Important River & Sunset program note: I will be live blogging Game 2 of the ALCS right here on Saturday at 4 p.m. ET. Join me won’t you?

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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I’m so sick of Cliff Lee.

It’s nothing personal against the guy, and I’m choosing my words carefully here, since he’s probably going to pitch every fifth day for my team next season.

But the three days separating the end of the ALDS and tonight’s ALCS opener has spawned a level of hero worship not seen since Sully defeated the seagulls.

It’s literally all people can talk about. Roy Halladay throws a perfect game? Who cares. Tim Lincecum strikes out 14 (probably while high)? Big deal. Cliff Lee mows down a pathetic Rays offense twice? American hero.

You could tell the Yankees were sick of hearing about Lee this week, too. The Rangers ace was the main line of questioning for the first two days of workouts at the Stadium, this despite the fact that New York won’t see the left-hander until Game 3.

“Cliff Lee is a great pitcher, but all we’re worried about right now is Game 1.”

I usually get frustrated when players fall back on stock answers like this, but in this case, what other answer could they give?

“Cliff Lee is the best pitcher ever. We’re not even thinking about the first two games of this pennant-deciding series because we can’t stop thinking about how easily Cliff Lee is going to defeat us next Monday. Us guys in the clubhouse actually started the #cliffleefacts Twitter hashtag. He’s hot, too.”

That doesn’t make sense, right? Well, especially the last part.

I’ll get into more when Lee’s turn actually does come up, but the reality is that the Yankees have had some success against him. Everyone knows about his dominant performance in Game 1 of the World Series last year, but few mention Game 5, when he allowed five runs over seven innings.

To quote Duke from Rocky IV: “He’s not a machine, he’s a man, he’s a man!”

As the Yankee Haters amongst you have no doubt told you, this postseason has broken just right for New York thus far.

I love all the ridiculous grassy knoll theories that Joe Girardi tanked the end of the regular season so the Yankees would miss Lee and the Rangers in the ALDS. To me, it was simply a fortuitous twist of fate, like when you blew the opportunity to hook up with the hottest chick at the office Christmas party only to find out later she has a vicious strain of herpes.

The Rangers and Rays going five games obviously helped the Yankees as well. The fruits of this good fortune is immediate: In tonight’s matchup, CC Sabathia meets not his friend Lee, but C.J. Wilson.

Wilson is a left-hander coming off a breakout season in 2010, two facts that lead you to believe he should have success on Friday night. But his splits tell the story of a pitcher that excelled against most teams, but not against the Yankees.

Wilson was winless in three starts against New York, pitching to a 5.65 ERA over 14 1/3 innings. The Yankees batted .300 as a team against him.

Then you have Sabathia, who received some good fortune himself in the opening round of the playoffs. The lefty wasn’t sharp against the Twins, but still got the win when teammates rallied off Francisco Liriano in the seventh inning.

The Yankees need Sabathia to revert back to form on Friday. When he’s at the top of his game, Sabathia is every bit the pitcher that Lee is, possibly even better. Sabathia proved that at this time last year, when he won twice against the Angels in picking up the ALCS MVP.

Every Game 1 is important, but in a series that seems too close to call, this Game 1 means even more. Time for the big man to stand and deliver.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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I imagine the Tampa estate that Derek Jeter calls home has a room (or wing) devoted to all the awards and trophies he has amassed over his Hall of Fame career.

I’m guessing he takes the room and what it represents for granted at this point in his life. He probably won’t truly be able to appreciate all he has accomplished until his ride as a professional athlete comes to an end.

This may explain why he’s using his 2004 Gold Glove award to prop open his attic closet.

That said, something tells me there’s one accolade that brings him instant gratification … and it belongs to his fiancé, Minka Kelly.

The Friday Night Lights star was recently named Esquire magazine’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” for 2010. Past winners include Kate Beckinsale, Halle Berry, Charlize Theron, and Scarlett Johansson.

(In case you’re keeping track at home, Jeter has bedded two of the last five women named by a globally-respected publication as the hottest chick in the world. This is awesome.)

Yes, it’s been a good October for Jeter, a man who has made his reputation in the fall. His team, the New York Yankees, will begin the quest for their 41st American League pennant on Friday when they kick off the ALCS against the Texas Rangers.

The 36-year-old shortstop has always had impeccable timing—his first year as a pro doubled as the Yankees‘ first championship in 18 years, after all—but the timing hasn’t been great in regard to the end of the massive 10-year contract Jeter signed in 2000.

Jeter was third in AL MVP voting in 2009, but he had the worst season of his career in 2010, batting just .270, as his production dropped precipitously across the board.

But Jeter, more than anyone, knows that being a Yankee means producing not in April and May, but October.  

He had a quiet first round of the playoffs, with four singles in 14 at-bats against the Twins, but there is much money to be made by excelling in the ALCS.

I know, I know: How much money does one guy need? I’ll hand that over to Yankees season-ticket holder Bruce Springsteen from his classic “Badlands”: “Poor men wanna be rich, rich men wanna be kings, and a king ain’t satisfied ’til he rules everything.”

Jeter has reached the “king” stage of his life. ESPN baseball writer Buster Olney told Bill Simmons on Monday that he believed the Yankees will offer Jeter a contract in the range of three years for $45 million, obviously well below the three years and $75 million that has been widely speculated.

Olney’s logic makes sense: They’ll offer Jeter the deal and invite him to find a better one. When that doesn’t happen, they’ll have their icon.

The Yankees aren’t dumb. They know Jeter doesn’t have any leverage. Six months of mediocre baseball will take that from you. But Jeter still has one more chance at balancing the scales before the last big contract negotiation of his career.

He can go off for the rest of this month.

Say Jeter bats .400 in the ALCS and then wins the World Series MVP. You think the Yankees will be able to stand pat with the original offer they had in mind? No chance.

What’s exciting as a Yankee fan is that you know Jeter lives for this type of thing. He’s an epic self-motivator. I just don’t see any way he doesn’t rise to the occasion.

He has the money, the girl, the respect, and the success … but you know the captain wants more.

The King ain’t satisfied ’til he rules everything.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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I am a fine connoisseur of movies that fall under the banner of “so bad, they’re good.”

If it has stilted dialogue, gaping plot holes, poor special effects and gratuitous sex scenes, I am in.

Classics like the Thomas Ian Griffith thriller Crackerjack (1994), Shannon-Elizabeth-gets-violated-by-a-carrot horror flick Jack Frost (1997) and the Billy Ray Cyrus action epic Radical Jack (2002) are shockingly dreadful movies that I’ve watched multiple times, usually while inebriated, with great delight.

This weekend I reached the peak of the “so bad they’re good” mountain with The Room, a 2003 indie melodrama written, directed, produced, executive-produced, financed and starring a strange-looking and even stranger-sounding man by the name of Tommy Wiseau.

I was a little late to the game on The Room. Seven years after flopping in very limited release, the film has become a fairly substantial cult hit with weekly Rocky Horror-type screenings here in L.A. and around the country.

Wiseau himself is known to frequent these screenings, apparently unaware that the joke is on him.

The movie makes no sense on several levels. The dialogue is loaded with non sequiturs and is heavily overdubbed. Entire plot elements and even characters are introduced and then completely forgotten. But part of the movie’s charm is its unpredictability. Since it doesn’t follow any rules previously thought to be understood, anything can happen. It’s a complete free-for-all.

In other words, it’s kind of like the MLB postseason so far.

We’ve had a no-hitter (Roy Halladay), a Bill Buckner reincarnate (Brooks Conrad), and a five-game series in which the home team lost every game (Rangers–Rays). We’ve even had a character introduced then completely forgotten as if they never existed (the Minnesota Twins).

People have asked me what I think about the Yankees‘ chances against the Rangers in the ALCS. I have no idea. I literally have no feel whatsoever. I didn’t think either team was even going to make it out of the ALDS. We’re in total crapshoot territory here.

The good news if you’re a Yankees fan is that your team has some mojo working right now. Six days between games isn’t the greatest way to keep your edge, but it does reinforce the feeling that the struggles of September were from another century.

You also have to feel good about avoiding Cliff Lee until Game 3 of the series. With all due respect to Halladay and Tim Lincecum, Lee is the most dangerous pitcher left in this postseason. He’s a bulldog, completely locked in and pitching for a contract that will set his family up for generations. I just peed myself a little thinking about Lee on the mound in a Game 7 at Arlington.

Count me out of the camp that was thrilled when the Rangers knocked off the Rays. Make no mistake, I think Texas won because it was the better team. I was never convinced that the Rays were any good. It’s almost amazing to think they won 96 games with some of the stiffs who littered their lineup.

But in sticking with the theme that the 2010 postseason has as much logic to it as the football catch scenes in The Room, I think the Rays would have been the tougher matchup in the ALCS.

The two teams played each other roughly 300 times this season, while basically the same Rays roster played in an ALCS (and World Series) just two years ago. Yankees aura and mystique would serve no purpose here.

That could be a different story for the Rangers, who never even won a postseason series until Tuesday night. And like a washed-up hair metal band, the franchise is still dealing with the hard realities of the ’90s, when the Yankees won nine straight playoff series over three years.

Everything in my gut is telling me this is a seven-game series. Both teams have strengths and weaknesses that can, and probably will, be exposed. But that’s the thing about this postseason—there’s no way to tell what’s going to happen next.

In other words, be prepared for anything. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go purchase some adult diapers.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. His favorite line in “The Room” is easily, “You’re tearing me apart, Lisa!!!” Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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