Kuzul

Sometimes your name can take you a long way.

Take Miguel Tejada, for instance. For all intents and purposes, Tejada’s career is in a irreversible nosedive. The man has no business being the starting third baseman for any Major League team, no matter how awful that team may be.

But Tejada is a former MVP, a six-time All-Star, and has enough residual HGH matter in his bloodstream to revive Gary Coleman, so the Orioles continue to run the 36-year-old to the hot corner despite his atrocious defense and .296 on-base percentage.

Trust me, I’m not complaining. Tejada’s throwing error was the decisive play in the Yankees’ 3-1 win over the O’s on Tuesday night, New York’s sixth win in eight games. It also served as a probable snapshot of Baltimore rookie Brian Matusz’s first seven years in the big leagues—hold Yankees offense in check then watch the bullpen, or defense, or bullpen and defense saddle him with the loss or no-decision. Welcome to The Show, Brian!

Give credit to the Yankees…you don’t see many Tejada-types pop up on the roster anymore. Jason Giambi was certainly about to reach that point, but Brian Cashman wisely jettisoned the affable slugger following the 2008 season.

Facing the likes of Tejada and the rest of his Birds teammates certainly was a nice way for Javier Vazquez to get back on track. The right-hander finally gave Yankee Stadium fans a reason to cheer, allowing one run over seven innings of work for his fourth win. Escaping a bases-loaded, one-out jam in the seventh was especially encouraging—he displayed an ability to dodge trouble that you didn’t see in his last start in Minnesota.

Who knows if this will finally be the turning point that sends Vazquez in the right direction for good this season, but it’s certainly a promising development. His fastball consistently touched 90 and occasionally hit 91, up from the 88 mph meatballs he was chucking in April and most of May.

Most importantly, he may have shed that, “Hey, did Bobby Cox call while I was in the bathroom?” look on his face. Vazquez is starting to look like he may actually want to be here, and that can only mean good things for the Yankees going forward.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached via e-mail at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter at danhanzus.

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Beginning misguided rant in three…two…one…

The New York Yankees and My9 are a match made in hell.

I wish I had the statistics to back this up—and let’s face it, a rudimentary once-over of the schedule would probably settle this—but to me, the Yankees always seem to play poorly when their games are broadcast on the redheaded stepchild of free television.

I suppose this makes sense. My9 is the same network that pays its bills on the strength of Living Single reruns. Ernie Anastos is the face of their news team, a solid 15 years since he lost his CBS fastball. Russ Salzberg is the sports anchor. Russ Salzberg, people!

That said, the My9 Yankees telecast is identical to a YES telecast, right down to Michael Kay’s massive skull and Ken Singleton yelping, “Look out!” for every pitch that misses the inside corner.

Perhaps I’m just grasping at straws to rationalize how the Yankees could look so poor in losing their second straight to the AL East-leading Tampa Bay Rays.

Wednesday’s series-opener was one thing, every team gets jumped sometimes, but Thursday was…different.

Speaking of different, former Diff’rent Strokes star Todd Bridges just came out with a memoir entitled, Killing Willis: From Diff’rent Strokes to the Mean Streets to the Life I Always Wanted .

Honestly, This Is What I’m Talkin’ About, Arnold probably would’ve sufficed, but the guy is a recovering crack addict. We’ll give him a pass.

In honor of the fallen and now risen teen idol, I present to you Killing Me: From Baseball’s Best to Walking Wounded to Wait, the Freaking Blue Jays are One Game Behind Us?

Chapter One: The Pitching Has Come Back Down to Earth

We all knew it couldn’t last, but with injuries savaging the starting nine, the recent downturns of Phil Hughes, A.J. Burnett, and now Andy Pettitte, make winning games very difficult business.

CC Sabathia was hogtied and robbed of a “W” by Joba Chamberlain in his last start, so he’s the notable exception here. Carsten Charles will have to be even better than he was against Boston as the rest of the rotation undergoes a natural market correction. Besides, the suddenly overtaxed bullpen could use a couple of those Milwaukee Brewer-era complete games from the big fella.

Chapter Two: Mark Teixeira is Still Not Mark Teixeira

Don’t be fooled by a few big games that inflated his run production totals, Teixeira is still not himself, and I guarantee he would admit as much.

Unfortunately, the Yankees need their first baseman to get back to being his consistent robotic self now more than ever.

Teixeira is in the midst of his latest funk, hitless in 12 at-bats before he singled off the top of the rightfield wall in his final at-bat on Thursday. Hopefully the hit was a sign of things to come.

Chapter Three: Nick Johnson Brian Cashman has fouled up the entire lineup

Remember all the offseason discussion about whether or not Cashman made the right move replacing Johnny Damon in the No. 2 hole with Nick Johnson? Well, it took exactly 1.5 months to settle that debate and put a little black mark on Cash’s resume in the process.

Cashman showed no contrition after news of Johnson’s jacked wrist was reported, even going as far as saying that Johnson was “a $15 million a year player if he didn’t have this history of injuries.”

This is the equivalent of Todd Bridges saying he was “the next Will Smith if he didn’t have this history of crack and whores.”

To be honest, I’m not sure who would be more believable.

Chapter Four: Are the Rays Really This Good?

I’m inclined to say no, that it’s more a red-hot Rays team catching the Yankees at the exact wrong time.

But even if the Rays are playing a bit over their head right now, they’re putting on a frightening display of their ability. Their starters go deep into games, they have a loaded lineup, they run like hell, and catch everything.

You can even float the theory that Yankees caught a huge break in 2009 as the Rays—essentially the same team as the 2010 version—nursed a post-pennant hangover.

Now they’re recharged, hungry—and aware the offseason will bring big roster changes—armed with a serious sense of urgency.

I think I need to go lie down.

Chapter Five: Overcoming the Injury Bug

The Yankees are all sorts of beat up. No one feels bad for them, I guarantee you this. But with the Red Sox and Rays in the rearview mirror and a six-game road trip against the Mets and Twins coming up, this isn’t going to get any easier.

(Well, maybe with the Mets it’s a little easier, but still…)

Realistically, .500 ball is a reasonable goal during the stretch, which means you have to hope that immortals like Randy Winn, Juan Miranda, and Marcus “Look Out, Bat!” Thames can come up with a big hit every so often.

(Need to lie down again…)

Meanwhile, I hope we’re not witnessing the start of the breakdown of one Georgie Posada. With 1,620 regular-season games played and another 110 in the postseason, worrying when his body will finally quit on him is always a concern.

Hopefully, the hairline fracture in the foot is just a three to four week-type injury, but even Posada said it’s something he’s never dealt with before.

I know many of you are kneeling at the Cisco the Kid shrine, but trust me, Posada is the glue that holds the middle of the Yankees lineup together. We need him back, and hopefully it’s sooner rather than later.

Chapter Six: Take a Deep Breath

We all know this won’t last. The team will become whole again and the wins will flow. The plan is to get back to winning series, and there’s really no better place to start than at the graveyard that is Citi Field. If nothing else, we can watch angry Mets fans make David Wright cry.

And Yankees fans thought they had it bad…

PROGRAM NOTE! River & Sunset will host its second live blog of the season for tonight’s series-opener against the Mets! Visit www.hollywoodyankees.blogspot.com to follow along. I guarantee at least one Steve Howe cocaine joke.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached via e-mail at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter at danhanzus .

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

I don’t like admitting that I’m wrong.

I put admission of error somewhere between getting a Novocaine-free root canal and being the Jim J. Bullock center square of a human centipede.

But right is right, and it’s starting to look like that’s exactly what the Yankees were when it came to their handling of Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain.

Wednesday night against the Tigers was another big night for the farm system’s golden boys. Hughes was brilliant over seven shutout innings, and Chamberlain was throwing gas in the eighth for another scoreless inning of relief.

Hughes is now 5-0 with a 1.38 ERA, and is suddenly a legitimate ace counterpart to CC Sabathia. Chamberlain, meanwhile, has a 2.30 ERA and hasn’t allowed a run in his last seven appearances, effectively filling the eighth-inning role that Hughes thrived in last season.

Much has been made of how the Yankees handled both young pitchers.

Some argued that the team asked for too much, too soon from Hughes, who was the second youngest player in the American League when he was called up in April 2007.

Hughes battled injury and vision issues his first two seasons in the Bronx, leading many fans to believe the right-hander was heading down Brien Taylor Boulevard, the one-way thoroughfare for all-hype, no-results prospects.

Fans were even more frustrated when GM Brian Cashman refused to part with Hughes in a trade that would bring Johan Santana from the Twins in December 2007. The idea of a Yankees organization that didn’t sacrifice prospects for established veterans was completely foreign to a fanbase weened on 30 years of Steinbrenner rule.

Chamberlain has been an even bigger lightning rod of controversy. He came out of nowhere in August 2007, becoming a phenomenon with his blazing fastball, sharp slider and animated strikeout celebrations.

Despite his fantastic (non-midge related) success out of the bullpen, the Yankees were intent on giving Chamberlain an opportunity as a starter. They looked at the beefy kid from Nebraska and had visions of a young Roger Clemens under their control for seven years.

Unfortunately, it just didn’t take. The “Joba Rules”—first instituted in ’07 to keep Joe Torre from Proctor-ing the young prospect’s arm—was deemed the culprit when Chamberlain wasn’t immediately the same intimidator as a starter as he was out of the bullpen.

But by 2009, it started to become clear that it wasn’t the Joba Rules that were holding Chamberlain back, but his own mind-set. He struggled to find consistency as a starter, unable to find his top velocity, and unable to control the pace of the game. By the time the postseason rolled around, Chamberlain was back in the ‘pen.

The Yankees gave Chamberlain one last shot as a starter in spring training, essentially pitting him against Hughes for the fifth spot in the rotation. It was a no-contest. Chamberlain seemed disinterested in the battle, and Hughes won nearly by default.

That brings us to today. Hughes and Chamberlain are both Yankees, they’re both healthy, and they’re both succeeding in the roles they were meant to be in. Hughes, the starter and ace-in-training, Chamberlain the reliever and closer-in-training.

There’s a parallel universe where Hughes the Minnesota Twin is shutting down the Yankees in Game 5 of the 2010 ALDS and Chamberlain is sitting in the waiting room of Dr. James Andrews with an icepack on his shoulder.

Thankfully, the two young right-handers took the fork down a different path. And while you can argue that the organization took a circuitous route to get to the right place, you can’t deny they got there in the end.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached via e-mail at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter at danhanzus .

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

The New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox square off this weekend at Fenway Park, the first meeting between the two rivals since umpire Joe West’s controversial marks about the slow pace of play between the teams.

Unfortunately for West, and those that have early dinner reservations this weekend, River & Sunset has uncovered a list of 10 reasons why this three-game series will be just as long, if not longer, than the matchups that preceded it.

10) Removing the Earthly Remains of Big Papi: David Ortiz’s body needs to be moved for insurance purposes, and the series won’t be able to start until it happens.

Luckily, the one-time star hasn’t sniffed the field in years, so his decomposing corpse only needs to be transported from the dugout to a waiting coroner van outside Fenway Park. Cause of death: Inside fastballs under the hands.

9) Nick Johnson’s mustache: Females of Boston will surely react like Somerville teens at a New Kids On The Block concert circa 1989 when they see the facial hair the Yankee DH is now sporting. It kind of makes him look like the middle-aged guy sitting in a van across from the elementary school. Look out ladies!

8) Teixeira’s about to get hot: I just get the feeling this is the weekend we finally see the real Teixeira show up, extending innings with multiple-pitch at-bats and line drives everywhere. Theo Epstein will once again be reminded that he passed on the star first baseman on financial principles that made no sense. A despondent John Henry will tweet: “uber-bummed we don’t have texeira [sic]. #MyGMblewit.”

7) Clay Buchholz iPad investigation: You probably thought the Red Sox right-hander got the carnal lust for electronic equipment out of his system during the great Laptop Heist of 2005. Unfortunately, the lure of the massively-popular new Apple device was too much to resist.

6) Derek Jeter Reparations Ceremony: Boston fans will finally embrace the greatness that has been right under their noses since 1996. In a touching moment, Red Sox Nation president Jerry Remy will get on the PA system to announce that no crowd chant has ever been more erroneous than “NO-MAH’S BET-TAH!”

Jeter will forget to mention this moment while laying in bed with a nude Minka Kelly later in the night.

5) Crappy Red Sox Remembrance Night: Speaking of Nomar, the Red Sox already had one bogus celebration of a player their fans turned on, so this weekend the team will take the concept to the next level by just celebrating a random collection of losers.

The group will include: Shea Hillenbrand, Brian Daubach, Rich Gedman, Troy O’Leary, Nick Esasky, Sam Horn, Jody Reed, John Valentin, and Tim Naehring. Calvin Schraldi will throw out the wild first pitch. Rich “El Guapo” Garces needs a crane to be removed from his home, so will instead address the crowd live via satellite.

4) J.D. Fan Club Loses It: Stat geeks from across the country, unable to contain themselves over Saber-friendly Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew, will dash onto the field in unison before being violently tased by Boston Police. Drew will honor his fallen disciples by going 0-for-2 with two walks.

3) Josh Beckett Goes AWOL: Beckett, who was signed to a ridiculous contract extension earlier this season, will continue his descent into mediocrity when he misses a start after falling asleep on pile of extension money. Theo Epstein will counter that Beckett’s ability to rest soundly on American currency is an example of his high BABIP and FIP.

2) Fenway Scoreboard Operator Eaten by Rats: This one is fairly self-explanatory. Can someone get an exterminator in there? Geez.

1) Pink Hat Rebellion: Confused that the team is struggling for the first time since the franchise came into existence in 2004, women and confused teens in pink Boston caps storm the field in protest. Many look to hug Johnny Damon only to be told that he left the team in 2006. More tasing is involved. Lots and lots of tasing.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached via e-mail at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter at danhanzus .

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

In the simplest of terms, things continue to move along exceedingly well for the New York Yankees.

They won again on Monday, as CC Sabathia cruised through an Orioles lineup that seemed perfectly content with its three-game sweep of the Red Sox.

But if you listened close enough at Yankee Stadium, you could the distressing wail of Father Time trying to throw cold water on New York’s 17-8 start.

Jorge Posada missed time last week after being hit by a pitch, and the 38-year-old was forced out of the lineup again yesterday by a strained calf. Mariano Rivera, meanwhile, was nowhere to be found in the ninth inning, a tight left side keeping the 40-year-old closer on the shelf for the night and perhaps longer.

Such is life for the Core Four, where no matter how great you continue to be at baseball, you will also continue to be, well, an old dude.

As the Yankees have exhibited in their first 25 games, the sky is pretty much the limit for this group. They’re on pace for a 100-plus-win season, and that’s been without much help from Mark Teixeira, Nick Johnson, Javier Vazquez, or Curtis Granderson.

But ultimately, it may be how well the Old Guard holds up that will decide if the Yankees repeat in 2010. Just as they were in last year’s championship season, Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Posada, and Rivera form the heart and soul of the team.

Beyond the obvious respect and leadership factors, they remain four of the most productive players in the league at their respective positions. Their presence in the lineup remains mandatory.

The injuries to Rivera and Posada illustrate how delicate the situation is, regardless of how wonderful things may appear to be in Yankee Universe. Thankfully, Rivera’s issue doesn’t appear to be a serious one, but with 40-year-old professional athletes, every ding and dent carries a certain element of the unknown.

Posada’s calf ailment is more worrisome. The MRI result indicated that it is a mild strain, but of any of the Core Four, it is the veteran catcher who remains most susceptible to a lightning-fast decline.

The Yankees are fortunate enough to have a strong young backup in Francisco Cervelli, but Posada’s bat is the glue that holds the middle of the Yankees lineup together. If you remember the 2008 largely Georgie-free season, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

The good news is that today the Yankees called up outfielder Greg Golson and sent down right-hander Mark Melancon, an indication that the team doesn’t feel Posada’s injury is serious enough to warrant bringing up Jesus Montero for insurance.

But with the Core Four, you always have to be on guard. Every grimace must be met with apprehension. It’s simply the price you pay for putting your future in the hands of your past.

Dan Hanzus writes the Yankees blog River & Sunset and can be reached via e-mail at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter at danhanzus .

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com