Kuzul

“Someday, I want to be just like him, one of the best pitchers in the big leagues.”

I’ve been accused of many things. 

Paranoia, scrutinizing words, conspiracy freak, reading too much into what people say, and on one occasion attempting to take an up-skirt photograph—I swear, I knew the girl and thought she’d be cool with it.

“Someday, I want to be just like him, one of the best pitchers in the big leagues.”

I can’t get those words out of my head.  Why would Johnny Cueto say that?  What did he really mean?  Did he say it in Spanish?  If so, was anything lost in translation?

Or did he say it in English?  That would raise a huge red flag.  Cueto does not speak very good English.  He’s only 24—give the kid a break.  Most likely, someone would have had to coach him to get that phrase.

How many times do you hear an opposing pitcher say he wants to be like Mike…or in this case, Cliff Lee?  Almost never.  In fact, never.

Friday night Lee blanked the Reds, striking out seven and walking zero.  

That brings Lee’s 2010 strikeout per walk ratio to 67/4. Friends, that is nothing short of mind blowing.

In 77 and two-thirds he allowed two long balls.  This would be so perfect pitching in Great American Ball Park.

“Someday, I want to be just like him, one of the best pitchers in the big leagues.”

Is Reds’ General Manager, Walt Jocketty planning an offer to one of the most tabled pitchers of the season?  Did Jocketty get Cueto to say that?  Did Jocketty use a fake Spanish accent and say it himself? 

Cliff Lee is a free agent after this season. 

Mike Leake will need to hit the pen before the season is over.

Aroldis Chapman is not progressing as quickly as Reds’ country had hoped.

What do these factors have to do with a possible trade for Lee?  Leake has been the top pitcher thus far in 2010.  Unfortunately, he has never endured a full profession season.

His most innings pitched at Arizona State was in the high 120s.  Currently, he is sitting on something in the low-80s.

To me, he has looked fatigued in his last two starts.  The heat and humidity of Cincy is nothing like the heat of Arizona or his hometown of San Diego.

Unless the Reds would resign Cliff Lee, he’s nothing more than a “rent boy.”  Or a guy that finishes out the season after being traded from a bad team to a contending team.

For those, like myself, who thought Chapman would bring us 20 years of back-to-back titles, that’s not looking as if it will happen.  Maybe next year.

No doubt, Seattle would want the bank for Lee—probably one Major Leaguer (Jay Bruce) and a couple of prospects (Yonder Alonso and Brad Boxberger).  Those players are guesses, but smart money says players of that caliber would be needed.

The Cincinnati native Castellini family, the Reds majority owners, are sick and tired of losing.  And they aren’t silent owners.  They are true fans.  Classy one’s at that—unlike many professional sports teams owned by true fans.

They also seem to be doling out more money this season.  They know the Reds’ are close. 

Close enough to get into a bidding war with the big boys?  No clue.  Yet.

“Someday, I want to be just like him, one of the best pitchers in the big leagues.”

As soon as I decipher the true meaning of the Friday night Cueto quote, I will know.

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The Cincinnati Reds are seemingly caught up in their own hype.  Sure, they’re currently in first place.  But they missed a huge opportunity to stab a midseason dagger right in the hearts of the St. Louis Cardinals and the rest of the NL Central last week.

The Cardiac Reds lead the NL Central by a game and a half. 

They also lead the league in come from behind wins, and victories in their last at bat—so “Cardiac Reds” is a perfect name for these guys—not a team for folks with weak tickers.

They will need to sweep the Dodgers to win their current 10-game home stand.

The Reds split a four game series with San Francisco, while losing a three-gamer to Kansas City.

The Royals came into Great American sporting a .410 winning percentage.

After losing Sunday’s afternoon affair to the Zack Greinke-led Royals, Reds’ manager Dusty Baker said, “You’re always a little apprehensive and nervous when a guy of that quality is 1-8. You figure the law of averages is on his side.”

Most would agree that the law of averages for a guy, Greinke, with a 1-8 record and a 4.05 ERA, is something to be “apprehensive and nervous” about.

Another thing that should cause Reds’ fans concern, apprehension, and nervousness—the aforementioned victories in their last at bat, and come from behind wins.

Dusty Baker, while not the greatest manager in the world, is a very smart man.

The law of averages will sooner or later catch the Reds, and Dusty knows this.

While his team is caught up in pomp and hype, wondering who will or will not be named to the All-Star squad—the Dodgers are coming to town on Tuesday—hungry after a series sweep at the bats and hands their crosstown rivals, the Los Angeles Angels.

Immediately following a Thursday afternoon game versus the Dodgers, the Reds head out west. 

In a recent Bleacher Report article by Michael Hammons titled “Go West Young Man? Bad Idea for the Cincinnati Reds ,” Hammons writes that relative to each summer’s first trip westward, the Reds historically have a dreadful tendency to totally collapse—and fall out of contention.

There is a saying about hindsight.  Unfortunately for the Reds, barring an unlikely sweep of the Dodgers, they will fail to capitalize by winning the home stand.

Since there is really not a cliché regarding foresight let’s get a copyright and make one up right now:

Boys, stop pussyfooting and put the boot to the throat and take this division!

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No.  Thankfully, Dusty will be managing tonight against the San Francisco Giants rather that sitting with the big brass deciding who to take with the No. 12 overall selection.

The Reds, being so small market and all, traditionally go after players deemed signable at a low-price.

Many of the Internet mock drafts have them selecting, University of Miami catcher Yasmani Grandal, probably the most MLB-ready player in the pool.  First, it’s doubtful he’ll fall to the Reds.  Second, he’ll demand a big-time signing bonus.

So who are the Castellini’s and Jocketty looking at?  That’s a tough one.

There’s a boat-load of pitching depth down on the farm, but in the same light, it can be said that a team can never have too much pitching.

During the Jocketty tenure, they’ve gone with big college program players: first baseman Yonder Alonso in 2008; and some little pitcher out of Arizona State in 2009.  Pretty sure his name is Ike Leake, or Mark something.

It’s the guy who never had to touch a minor league baseball and is currently sitting on a 5-0 record with a 2.22 ERA.

Anyway, back to the subject.  Most likely, Castellini & Co. will be looking at one of four players.

The dark-horse candidate is Ohio State’s right-handed starter, Alex Wimmers.  Most boards have him as a much lower first-rounder.  He’s been compared to that Leake fella the Reds nabbed in last year’s draft.

Sorry, Leake has five rock-solid pitches.  Wimmers has a mediocre fastball and at this point, only two secondary pitches.

The next possible candidate whose name has been popping up is Arkansas’ Zack Cox.  He played mostly third with the Razorbacks, but projects to be a second baseman in pro ball.

The Reds would jump on Cox if he were still on the board.  That is somewhat doubtful.

Another guy they would love to have is Ball State second baseman, Kolbrin Vitek.  Like Cox, he’ll most likely be gone—probably to the Padres with the ninth pick.

Two Ohio college players in Wimmers and Vitek.  Unfortunately, one will have already been chosen and the other will probably not be taken twelfth overall. 

However, Wimmers will still be on the board.  It’s not out of the realm of possibility.

So where is the smart money pick?

Christian Colon, unless Vitek falls in their lap.

Colon is a sure-handed shortstop from Cal State Fullerton.  He’s not the second coming of Barry Larkin, but who could be?  He takes the game seriously.  He wont dazzle you with any one skill.

On the contrary, Colon does not have a lot of holes.

In five years, he’ll probably finish the season hitting about .270, 8 HR, 10 SB.  He’s got great hands and will make any play that comes his way.

So in the spirit of Pete Rose who once said, “I’d be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.”

Mark it down: Christian Colon to the Reds with the No. 12 pick.

Last minute edit: Scratch that! Just found out Colon is a client of agent Scott Boras. That translates into a no go for the Reds.

Sticking to the original pick, Alex Wimmers.

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The Cincinnati Reds have a longer, and arguably richer, history than any other Major League Baseball team.

In 1869, the Cincinnati Red Stockings were one of the inaugural teams in the National League. The seven other teams? They’ve all been defunct for over 100 years.

Think about the year 1869 for a second.

That is only four years after the end of the Civil War ended. Amazing!

The Reds are currently sitting on top of the NL Central… so what better time to give it up for the Reds, and share great and not so great player’s awesome quotes pertaining to the oldest franchise in baseball.

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Look at that. Sir Arthur Rhodes is either making the “V” sign (for “victory”), or trying to hump his back upward for the “W” (which would signify “win”). He is begging Reds General Manager Walt Jocketty for another arm to come out of the pen.

If the Cincinnati Reds plan a September run, they will need to trade for a relief pitcher.

Preferably an inexpensive one, who can keep the ball in the yard and will not cost the entire farm system.

The Reds’ minor league system is stacked with palatable talent.

This project concentrates on four rebuilding teams—clubs looking to trade big league players for young bucks.

Altogether there will be one pitcher from each of four teams: the Arizona Diamondbacks, Baltimore Orioles, Cleveland Indians, and the Kansas City Royals.

Let’s have a look-see.

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The Arizona Immigration Law is undoubtedly stirring a lot of emotions.  If you have not heard of it, then feel free to go back to sleep. Your government will take care of you—that’s a promise—well, from them.

In 2011, Major League Baseball’s All-Star game is scheduled for Arizona.

This has people in a tizzy, calling for the MLB to move it, cancel it, have all the players wear pink berets instead of ball caps, hold special ceremonies honoring the vast number of Hispanic ball players, etc.

None of that will happen.  Especially the pink berets—that was just made up. 

In fact, it would not be at all surprising to see MLB’s commissioner, Bud Selig, fine players who boycott the game on the grounds that the law is unjust.

If the Arizona Diamondbacks had a non-sponsored baseball stadium like, for example, Cincinnati’s Great American Ball Park, the commissioner would relocate the game in half of a hiccup.

Even if it were corporately sponsored by, say, Target—like Minnesota’s new stadium, it is fairly likely that Mr. Selig would move the game.

So why won’t the 2011 MLB All-Star Game be moved from Arizona?  Simple two-word answer: Chase Field.

It may as well be called JP Morgan Chase Field.  The Chase Manhattan Corporation merged with JP Morgan & Co. in the year 2000, forming the third largest financial institution in America.

It is known as one of the “Big Four” banks in the United States—along with Bank of America, Citigroup, and Wells Fargo.

For all the power and money that Major League Baseball is worth, comparing the wealth of MLB to JP Morgan Chase & Co. is sort of like trying to buy a new car with couch change.   

Major League Baseball and Selig are way too smart to even entertain or suggest moving the game for fear of repercussions that would assuredly arise if they went against the will of any of the “Big Four.”

The entire situation has been called a political issue—not true.

It’s an economic issue.

Take the 2008 Presidential campaign, for example.  The investment firm Goldman Sachs was the largest contributor to the Presidential campaign of Barack Obama.

And, get this; Goldman Sachs was also the largest contributor to John McCain’s run for office—talk about hedging your bets.

What does Goldman Sachs have to do with the “Big Four?”  They act as the conduit so Bank of America, Citibank, JP Morgan Chase, and Wells Fargo can keep their hands clean.

It is a common misconception that politicians actually run this country.  While they do wield power, big decisions come down to money and the “Big Four”—a pickle in which Major League Baseball finds itself concerning the 2011 All-Star Game. 

Selig knows that to move the game from Arizona’s Chase Field would infuriate JP Morgan Chase—and JP Morgan Chase has the power to bankrupt baseball faster than the speediest typist in the world can put “qwerty” on their screen.

There is one unlikely scenario that would make a move from Arizona possible: if the faltering bank were allowed to go bankrupt itself, like Houston’s former Enron Stadium.

But Enron was an energy corporation, whereas the “Big Four” are financial institutions—the heart and soul of what keeps this country running, albeit on life support.

Given Washington’s propensity to lend the “Big Four” trillions of dollars makes it even more unlikely. 

There is a lot that could happen in this country over the next year and two months. 

The “Big Four” could all go bankrupt.

However, if that were to happen, it is unlikely that baseball would exist as we know it today. 

Baseball fans would probably be looking at John Rocker coming out of retirement and named the starting pitcher, possibly the only pitcher, on the National League’s staff.

Long story short: Don’t mess with the “Big Four.”

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Entering the 2010 baseball season, the Cincinnati Reds and their fans had lofty expectation for the starting staff. Bronson Arroyo, Homer Bailey, Johnny Cueto, Aaron Harang, and Mike Leake have gone way above and beyond those expectations since, on April 24, manager Dusty Baker went “Bull Durham” on the entire team.

Yesterday Craig Simpson wrote an article titled, “Dusty Baker Goes Bull Durham, Cincinnati Reds Respond.”  Simpson explained that Baker chastised his team for it’s lackadaisical play.

The old curiosity peaked and an investigation was in order.  

Knowing that the starters were pitching better than they were at the beginning of their dismal excuse for a season, a team of experts was sent to delve deeper.

The findings are mind blowing.

Collectively, over the last 21 games, the starters are 12-3, with an ERA of 3.11, and a 1.11 WHIP.

The “quality start” stat used to be looked at as a joke. In recent years, it has become a pretty decent indicator of a staff’s success, or lack thereof. In their last 21 games Reds’ starters have amassed 15 quality starts. Boys and girls, that’s a 71 percent clip.

From April 25 until yesterday, May 18, their ERA has dropped almost two full points—from 6.49 to a 4.55 spot.

Before the meeting only one starter, Leake, had an ERA under four.

Small sample sizes, yes. Bailey is the only guy with five starts—all others have four. 

However, since the meeting Arroyo’s ERA has dropped 2.65 points, Bailey’s 2.26 points, Cueto is down from 5.33 to 3.67 (a difference of 1.66 points), Harang has seen his dip 2.29 points, and even Leake now sports a 3.09 ERA, 0.83 points better than before. 

WHIPs since Dusty went Durham: Cueto 0.88, Leake 0.92, Arroyo 1.14, Bailey 1.16, with his 1.37 WHIP, Harang is looking like the chump of the bunch. But his ERA during the run is 4.01—very respectable. 

The Reds have played 12 home games and nine away. 

Great American Ball Park is a notorious home run stadium—that’s putting it kindly.

During the three-plus week stretch the staff is letting only 1.03 balls leave the yard per nine innings.

The numbers go on-and-on: a 7.6 K/9 ratio, while allowing only 2.27 batters to reach via walk per nine. 

How are they doing it?

Throw strikes, baby…Throw strikes! Getting ahead in counts while making hitters work down in the count allows the starter to work deeper into the ballgames.

In 19 of the last 21 games, the starting pitcher has thrown at least six full. Just once during the span has a starter been removed before completing five innings, and only once more before the pitching six full.  

So Dusty must be abusing his starters again, right? Nope. Well, maybe.

Twice Baker has allowed a starter to throw more than 120 pitches. Both Bailey and Harang threw 121 in a start.

Cueto has thrown 113 and 118—that may be a bit distressing. He also needed 102 in his complete game, one-hit shutout. 

Rubber-armed Arroyo has pitched 100-plus (never hitting 110) in three of his four starts. 

Rookie sensation, Mike Leake, has been allowed over the 100-mark in just one of his last four starts.

Besides Dusty’s Durham speech, much of the credit must be given to first-year pitching coach, Bryan Price. 

Price has twice been named the Major League’s Pitching Coach of the Year—once with Seattle by USA Today Baseball Weekly, and again in Arizona by Baseball America.

No doubt, it has been a promising three-week run for the Cincy starters. 

One that has The Queen City and it’s surrounding regions all ready buzzing with a long forgotten playoff vibe. 

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“Civil rights include the ensuring of peoples’ physical integrity and safety; protection from discrimination on grounds such as physical or mental disability, gender, religion, race, sexual orientation, national origin, age, and individual rights such as the freedoms of thought and conscience, speech and expression, religion, the press, and movement.”

That’s a definition of civil rights from Wikipedia.

On Saturday night Cincinnati hosted it’s second consecutive “Civil Rights Game.”

Both the Cincinnati Reds and the St. Louis Cardinals dressed in 1947 throwback jerseys and donned caps that read “Civil Rights Game” in honor of the year Major League Baseball broke it’s color barrier.

Should the “Civil Rights Game” be a big deal in big league baseball?  Absolutely.

But why does it solely focus on African-Americans?  To give baseball credit, this year they did include female tennis icon, Billie Jean King. 

Billie Jean King is also gay.  No one commented on that part.

If a sport is going to hold a “Civil Rights Game” it should not limit itself.

Gender and race are only two of the scores of unjustifiable civil rights issues human beings have overcome, and are still overcoming. 

Baseball simply does not get it.  Or maybe, Gillette, the game’s corporate sponsor just wants to keep it simple…and pretty.

Right now there are many more Hispanic players in the game than African-Americans. 

Were they cited at all?  No.  Neither were any of the other players who come from foreign soil to play “America’s past time.”

To not even note the Cuban ballplayers who have risked their lives (some have died) escaping Communism in small boats is disgraceful.

Bud Selig, Major League Baseball’s current commissioner, grew up in a Jewish family.  Where was his name—or the 154 Jews who have played ball?

Curtis Pride was born deaf.  He ended up playing 11 years in the big leagues.  Were the physically challenged mentioned during the game?  Nope.

Buddy Bell, a former member of the Cincinnati Reds, suffered a seizure disorder.  Chicago White Sox first baseman Greg Walker once had a seizure on the field. 

Jim Eisenreich had Tourette syndrome.  Again, why weren’t the physically challenged acknowledged? 

Standing at only three feet and seven inches, Eddie Gaedel, had a plate appearance during the 1951 season.  Were little people (formerly known as midgets) recognized?  Again, no.

There have been loads of fat guys who have played the game.  Where is their credit?  According to the 2010 “Civil Rights Game” they must not exist.

Hall of Fame pitcher Satchel Paige was 59-years old when he finally hung up the cleats.  Why aren’t people who are eligible for the senior citizen discount at Applebee’s included during this so-called “Civil Rights Game?” 

By the way, the Reds beat the Cards 4-3 on Saturday night in one of the most exciting games of the year.  Sure, it was very cool to see some of the guys who once played in the old Negro Leagues.

It was just unfortunate that the game itself served as a backdrop.

If baseball wants to continue this silly charade, they should rename it the “African-American and Female Rights Game.”

That…or allow an umpiring crew which would include a 500-pound transvestite at first base, a midget Asian female at second, a Hassidic Jew over at third, and a one-legged war veteran suffering PTSD sitting in a wheel chair calling the balls and strikes.

The crew would include a blind person, but since it seems many umps are already blind that would be redundant.

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In the words of my esteemed colleague, Jim Anchower , “Hola amigos. How’s (stuff) shaking out? I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but misery’s been flying at me from all directions, and it’s been a (dang) full-time job to just duck out of the way of all of it.”

Well not really—four days.

But it’s been a long time since I’ve stood on my anti-Dusty Baker soapbox (at least 10 days). 

I can no longer hold in a tirade that, if my brain were not totally in charge of editing the language of this piece, would make Rahm Emanuel sound like Norman Vincent Peale.

Before I get started, allow me to say that the Reds’ recent 7-3 run is all about the pitching.  More precisely, pitching coach Bryan Price. 

Dusty’s dugout dances have nothing to do with the streak.

I so much wanted to write a positive Price article tonight.

I swear was in a good mood all day.  Then I made the mistake of watching Friday night’s St. Louis Cardinals vs. Cincinnati Reds game.

Price is the man. 

I almost long for the days of Dick Pole. 

If Pole were still the pitching coach, Dusty would surely be history by now and Reds’ faithful would not have to put up with his night-in, night-out blunders.

Formerly, I have begged the Reds to call Rick Sweet and offer him Dusty’s post. 

Now I would trust the team in the hands of Betty White. 

Dusty why do you continually bat strikeout-prone Brandon Phillips in the two-hole?

Oh yeah, you’re the hep cat who once said, “It’s called hitting, and it ain’t called walking. Do you ever see the top 10 walking? You see top 10 batting average. “

Have you never heard of a little stat called on-base-percentage?  Going into Friday night’s game Phillips had an OBP of .329, while hitting at a .263 clip.

By contrast, and again going into Friday’s contest, Ryan Hanigan is getting on base at a rate of .492 while maintaining a .380 batting average. 

Not only are you contradicting yourself, but you seem not to understand that by having men on base before your big boppers stroll to the dish is something that was done back in your playing days, before a remedial sabermetrics class became the norm.

A basic managerial prerequisite—like those courses that don’t count and start with a zero rather than, say, a 101. 

Back to Friday’s game.

Why, with one out, down by one-run in the ninth and runners on first and second did you send pinch hitter and right-handed batter, Ramon Hernandez to face the Cards’ right-handed closer, Ryan Franklin?  WHY?

Hernandez promptly grounded into a game ending 6-4-3 double play.

You obviously knew (or should have known) that righties were hitting .206 versus Franklin while lefties posted .300 average.

We all thought you had Nix on the bench.  Of course after the game you stated, “Nix wasn’t available.” 

Should we believe you? 

Earlier in the season you played Miguel Cairo at first base saying something to the tune of, “Votto has the flu.”  Yet Joey Votto came in later to pinch-hit, got a hit, and remained in the game, replacing Cairo in the field.

Do people really get over the flu in a matter of hours? 

My man, you could make serious bank during when the annual flu scare hits around October—just a matter of picking the proper animal.  Myself, I’m betting on a “puppy flu” pandemic.

Hernandez now has three hits in 22 at-bats versus Franklin.  While Nix was four for 16 against the pitcher.

If Nix indeed “wasn’t available” why not pinch hit Paul Janish? 

At least Janish doesn’t run like an 18-wheeler on a steep climb in the mountains of West Virginia.

Or was it because, as you have said, “Black and Hispanic players are better suited to playing in the sun and heat than white players. “

If that is your excuse: a) It was dark out, and b) The temperature was in the mid-60s—at most.

At what degree of heat is this magical threshold you speak of in regards to white players?

Dusty, my hatred is limited to mosquitoes. 

That said, your game management makes viewing the Reds less tolerable than gawking at two 97-year olds as they attempt to make sweet love.

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The most impressive play, or non-play, of the Mother’s Day game at Great American Ball Park came immediately after Cincinnati Reds’ rookie sensation, Mike Leake allowed his first legitimate hit in the top of the seventh—a two-out double to Cubs’ outfielder Marlon Byrd.

After pitching hitless baseball through the front five, Leake gave up an infield single.  If the official score keeper were a cool dude or dudette they would have ruled it an error.  In reality, the hot grounder off the bat of Starlin Castro was a single.

But still—c’mon score keep, it’s was Mother’s Day.  What?  Do you not love your momma or something?

Unfazed, Leake retired the next five.  Which brings us to the two-out double in the seventh.

The ball was hammered.  Thus, relieving the official score keeper of a multitude of death threats.

The best part of the play came immediately afterwards.

Leake barked at Brandon Phillips and Orlando Cabrera while they were yukking it up over at second base with Byrd. 

Both Phillips and Cabrera were probably joking with the Cubs’ outfielder that they had saved the score keeper a multitude of death threats—if they were witty and clever enough.

Mind you, this is a two-run ballgame.  The tying run is now at the plate. 

Is this really the appropriate time to be fraternizing with an opponent who had just gotten the Cubs first legit hit?

Who knows what Leake barked? 

Probably something to the tune of, “Get back into position, I am trying to pitch a winning baseball game for OUR team.  You clowns are impeding me from doing me from doing so.”

Last week Eric Ball wrote an outstanding article titled, “Brandon Phillips Will Never Be the Leader the Cincinnati Reds Need .”

Exhibit-A should include a photo of the 22-year old rookie barking, none too kindly, at his 28-year old, multi-million dollar second baseman to get back to work.

In Ball’s piece he states, “Unfortunately, he (Phillips) simply doesn’t lead by example on the field.”

True.  True.  True.

Mike Leake does lead by example, and Brandon Phillips needs to start taking some notes.

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