At least this game doesn’t count.
Using the MLB All-Star Legends and Celebrity Softball Game as some sort of tiebreaker wouldn’t be much sillier than the All-Star Game determining home-field advantage for the World Series. Luckily this is not yet the case, so viewers can instead laugh at famous people embarrassing themselves while wondering which legends would still represent an upgrade for the Atlanta Braves.
After getting a glimpse of the game’s upcoming stars during the Futures Game, a wide-ranging group of athletes, actors, models and musicians will take the field on Sunday night. The contest, however, won’t be televised until the Home Run Derby concludes on Monday night.
Do any of these softball participants have a future in the big leagues? Not unless Manny Delgado from Modern Family swaps talents with Manny Machado. Will Tim Raines lock down his deserving spot in Cooperstown with a strong performance? One can only hope.
Or it’s just something to leave on before going to bed after watching Giancarlo Stanton decimate baseballs. That’s fine, too. Here’s a look at the schedule and rosters, courtesy of MLB.com.
All-Star Legends and Celebrity Softball Game
When: Sunday, July 10 (televised on June 11)
Where: Petco Park, San Diego, California
Time: Following the MLB Futures Game (starts at 7 p.m. ET)
TV: ESPN (Monday night after the Home Run Derby, which begins at 8 p.m. ET)
This game doesn’t have Stanton and Mark Trumbo, but two hulking celebrity ringers could bring the power.
Now everyone knows why J.K. Simmons bulked up. Commissioner Gordon doesn’t need to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but the veteran actor needs those muscles to take Rollie Fingers or David Wells deep.
Per Business Insider’s Jason Guerrasio, he insists the transformation had nothing to do with saving Gotham City or showing up Jennie Finch.
“This is all coincidental,” Simmons said. “After the second and final time that I got hugely fat in my life and when I lost that weight six or seven years ago, I pretty much decided that I was going to stay in decent shape for the rest of my life.”
Before branding him the game’s most muscular celebrity, let’s not forget about Terry Crews. Before becoming an Old Spice spokesman and playing Terry Jeffords on Brooklyn Nine-Nine, he was drafted by the Los Angeles Rams in 1991.
The former linebacker now has the makings of a bat-first first baseman or corner outfielder injected into the lineup for pop. And yes, this is the same game featuring multiple actors from Disney Channel shows.
On the legends front, Sunday night will turn into an impromptu celebration of the Montreal Expos. Raines might not have much left in the tank at age 56, but Vladimir Guerrero is five years removed from the majors.
The 41-year-old also has a Hall of Fame case to cement. He retired hitting .317/.379/.553 with 449 home runs and 181 stolen bases, but poor defensive metrics could place his candidacy into peril. Nevertheless, the free swinger hit baseballs few others could touch, and he hit them hard.
Never one to hold back, a gloveless Guerrero will once again swing for the fences with all his might. He’ll supply energy to the lackadaisical contest, perhaps even giving front offices ideas of pitching a comeback.
An assortment of former San Diego Padres stars will also return to Petco Park. He spent most of his career with the St. Louis Cardinals, but Ozzie Smith stole 147 bases and won the first two of 13 straight Gold Glove awards with the Friars.
Chris Berman won’t be the only Boomer on ESPN Monday night. Wells, who made two separate stops in San Diego during his 40s, will compete for unofficial win No. 240. An actual pitcher win doesn’t matter much anyway, so why not count a few underhanded outs?
If the softball gods work their magic, the team with Trevor Hoffman will nurse a small lead into the final frame. Six years after hanging up his cleats, MLB’s second all-time saves leader behind Mariano Rivera could receive another opportunity to run out with “Hells Bells” blaring over Petco’s speakers.
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