Dear Mr. Wren,
I had a toy when I was a kid, perhaps you had one just like it. It was an octagon-shaped toy with various different shaped holes on it that you would put plastic blocks into to help you learn shapes.
Looking back on it now, this toy was a lot like building a successful ball club. You have all these pieces available to you, but each hole would only accept one block so you have to make the right decisions.
For example, last year you did a pretty good job building the team, but there were some blocks that just wouldn’t fit.
You tried to sign a washed-up large circular block to play first base named Troy Glaus. You had to trade a talented young shortstop block named Yunel Escobar, because although his shape fit, it was always a pain in the ass to get into the hole.
Your third baseman block named Chipper, is very old and predictably broke last August. Your left fielder, Melky Cabrera, whom the Yankees made look like a pretty creamy block, was actually a carton of rotting milk, and your center fielder Nate McLouth was a cool triangle block, but your baby brother threw-up on it, so you couldn’t use it until your mom washed it.
This year, however, is looking up. Your mom bought you some new blocks and they appear to be fitting in just fine. You have a extremely powerful new second base block named Dan Uggla. A shiny new first base block named Freddie Freeman, that has seemingly unlimited potential, and should help cut down on all the errors by your powerful second base block.
Add to your newly mom-washed center field block looks like he’s in finally factory-restored form, circa 2008, your collection is starting to look like a fit.
Your starting pitching blocks don’t get the respect they deserve because the Phillies blocks cost a lot more, but they are still pretty darn good.
So, it appears you have 23 of the 25 blocks into the octagon, but there are still two more to go.
Rumor has it you lost the last bench block, so your trying to work a trade by offering up some pogs and a holographic Charizard Pokemon card, we’ll see how that works out.
The one block that really worries me is the rectangle known as Scott Proctor.
Proctor has pitched 10 2/3 innings this spring and has allowed 14 runs, six earned, including two home runs on 12 hits, and issuing nine walks.
By all accounts he should have been cut by now, but he is still hanging around worrying many Braves fans that you may be forcing him onto the roster.
I understand you are intrigued by the Proctor that once was, but he hasn’t had an ERA below 6.05 since 2007, and has only two seasons was his ERA below 4.00.
In a race that may come down to the final week of the season, every game counts and Proctor would put any lead at risk when he entered the game.
With just one oval pitching hole left to fill, please don’t try to force the Proctor rectangle into it, nothing good will come out of it.
Signed,
Concerned Braves Fans
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