In the wake of last night’s 4-3 victory over the Detroit Tigers, the San Francisco Giants received some rather unsettling news: Their star Gatorade bucket is likely out for the season.
Following Brian Wilson’s second consecutive blown save, the All-Star closer returned in a rage to the dugout. It was at this time that Wilson attacked his defenseless target—“Bucky” the Gatorade bucket—with a baseball bat. The attack was unprovoked and appeared to be motivated by Wilson’s frustration.
Bucky sustained serious injuries to his MCLD (Medial Collateral Liquid Dispenser) that will likely require season-ending surgery. This news is particularly devastating to a Giants team that has already endured season-ending injuries to star catcher Buster Posey and starter Freddy Sanchez. Bucky is the team’s starting Gatorade bucket and has compiled an EDA (Earned Drink Average) of 86.23 that leads the major leagues. “Gatie”—Bucky’s backup bucket—is serviceable, but has a career EDA of only 33.62.
The reaction of the Giants thus far can hardly be considered “measured.” General Manager Brian Sabean immediately followed the game by castigating Brian Wilson for his reckless playing style, calling the hit “totally unnecessary” and “unprovoked.” Sabean then assured Wilson and members of the press that his long-term memory was excellent, and it was unlikely that he would ever forget this incident.
A teary-eyed Wilson was spotted after the game, appearing profusely apologetic for the incident. “The last thing I wanted to do was end someone’s season. We all know what Bucky means to the game. It was 102 degrees in Chicago the other day, and when we needed quality relief, that is exactly what Bucky provided. I was careless and foolish,” Wilson said.
Head coach Bruce Bochy summarized the reaction of the rest of the coaching staff and players, stating simply, “It’s a shame…but that’s the way the game works sometimes. All I know is that we’ll have Gatie on the bench the next few months, and we’ll try to find a way to stay refreshed and ready to go. What else can I tell you?”
It was likely that Bucky would have been named to the National League All-Star Team this year, given his statistics and the fact that he won BCOTY (Beverage Container of the Year) last year after being called up in July to become the Giants’ starting Gatorade bucket. Bucky was on the bench when the Giants won the World Series last year and was hoisted before dousing numerous Giants players.
In the aftermath of this incident, some fans are asking if Bucky should return as a Gatorade bucket at all. Some fans have speculated that Bochy might consider moving Bucky to short stop in place of the struggling Miguel Tejada and Brandon Crawford in the unlikely event that he is able to return by season’s end.
Bochy and Bucky both immediately quashed these rumors, with Bucky stating, “I was born to be a Gatorade bucket. My place is on that bench, and that is where I’ll return as soon as I’m healthy.” He will likely have his spot on the bench when he returns, although perpetual bench denizen Mark DeRosa has his eyes on Bucky’s spot. One thing is certain: Both De Rosa and Gatie have their hands full in filling the gap caused by the loss of Bucky.
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