Kuzul

The Phillie Phanatic has been a very bad boy.

At least that is what one woman is claiming after the Phanatic allegedly tossed her in a pool and caused her severe bodily harm. 

Oh boy.

I will walk a fine line in this article, so forgive me if I teeter over the precipice. I am being balanced on one side by my hatred for grown men in mascot uniforms generally creeping me out. On the other is my skepticism of the claim. 

Like a nice steak dinner, let’s work on the meat of this thing first. 

The Philadelphia Daily News picked up a report from the Courthouse News Services on a woman who is undoubtedly frustrated with mascots, pools and being thrown by one into the other right about now. 

Suzanne Peirce alleges the Phillie Phanatic, a great big green thing that tries to take people’s minds off Chase Utley, picked her up, as well as the lounge chair she was resting on, and threw them both in a nearby pool. 

The suit alleges the Phanatic lost his mind on July 17th, 2010 as Peirce was enjoying her sister’s wedding at The Golden Inn in Avalon. 

Let me state that Peirce’s claims are quite serious. 

Peirce claims she hurt just about everything in the incident, including suffering “severe and permanent injuries to her head, neck, back, body, arms and legs, bones, muscles, tendons, ligaments, nerves and tissues …” and more. The pool did have water in it, attorney Aaron Denker said, though Peirce was tossed in the shallow end.

As for who is being sued, Peirce is targeting Tom Burgoyne, Matt Mehler and anyone else who may have been wearing the Phanatic suit. 

In fact, I am sure she would lob a suit at anyone who dressed up as the Phillie Phanatic for Halloween if she could. 

The report continues: 

A Phillies spokeswoman said the team was aware of the lawsuit and does not believe the Phanatic engaged in wrongful conduct…

The lawsuit does not mention specific dollar amounts, but claims Peirce has spent large sums of money on medicine and medical attention and has also suffered from “humiliation and loss of life’s pleasures.”

Let me dial it back just a bit, because if Peirce was indeed hurt as much as she claims, she deserves every penny she is after. 

I just can’t fathom a situation where ligaments, bones, muscles and emotions were irreparably destroyed by being thrown into a pool. 

If so, I need to sue my father, brother, friends and every last person who has thrown my fat ass into a pool over the years. 

As for the Phanatic, he seems to be doing just fine, as his performance recently with Paula Abdul suggests. 

For those not wanting to test the waters (pun intended), please walk the other way if you see the Phanatic walking down the street. 

And for the love of all that is holy, run if you happen to be next to a pool. 

Follow me on Twitter for a humdinger of a time. 

Follow @gabezal

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

Derek Jeter is one of the best players to ever play the game for the Yankees. When you are a legend in your sport, you get rewarded with millions of dollars – and a revolving door of hot girlfriends.

We have seen Jeter with numerous ladies that we expected – and often hoped – he would finally settle down with. Every time the public has come to expect him to finally have found the ‘one,’ we get another one of those breakup tabloids.

Let’s take a look at 11 of the almost Mrs. Jeter’s.

Begin Slideshow

Being a Chicago Cubs ball girl comes with certain perks, one of which may very well be getting in touch with the opposition to get your flirt on. 

The good people at Busted Coverage direct our attention to a video feed that captured a Cubbies ball girl writing down a missive and then sending it off with an usher, presumably to a Braves player.  

It’s not like a Cubs fan would ever want to date a Chicago ballplayer. 

It was a scene that played out just like the movie The Natural (minus Glen Close, Robert Redford and that fat kid that stood awkwardly as Roy Hobbs tried to bat). 

Here is the video which includes a ball girl sitting, a note being written and some old dudes being creepy behind the scenes. 

The video feed comes courtesy of the Uverse Cubs Multi-View, and the voice at the end of the video is Cubs announcer Bob Brenly, via the YouTube description. 

Brenly wonders openly whether the ball girl was sending the digits towards the opposition dugout with the usher. 

It’s at this point that we wonder why the video feed was transfixed on the poor girl for precisely too long. 

This has me a tad creeped out to enter any stadium where random cameras recording all the action might lurk. Seeing as how I am not an attractive female but a handsome and incredibly charming male, I should be safe. 

As for the Braves, we tip our hats in their general direction. 

I understand that playing the 12-17 Cubs can be as boring as listening to Charlie Manuel discuss anything, so I can see where you might resort to picking up on any female that may be on the field. 

If you want to truly grasp the fine art of hitting on chicks while you play a baseball game, it’s simple. You send the usher to do it.

Follow me on Twitter because you are worth it. @gabezal

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

With the economy in the shape it is, fans are being more select with their money. Season tickets aren’t being purchased at as high a rate as before.

Many venues simply aren’t good enough to draw fans into spending hard earned cash. While more nice sites than poor are provided by the majority of American pro franchises, that still doesn’t guarantee successful ticket sales.

Whether it’s history or an inability to generate revenue, these 10 franchises are in need of a new place to play.

Begin Slideshow

So Jamie Lynn Sigler and Cutter Dykstra, son of much-maligned ex-baseball player Lenny Dykstra, are currently dating.

And for the minor league prospect in the Washington Nationals farm system, that will probably be the highlight of his season. Hell, it would be the highlight of for most professional players if we’re being honest. Sigler is gorgeous.

First, the rumor, from Page Six of the New York Post:

“Sopranos” beauty Jamie-Lynn Sigler is dating Washington Nationals infielder Cutter Dykstra, son of former Mets star Lenny Dykstra, Page Six can reveal.

Sources tell us the actress has been dating Dykstra “for a few months, and things are going really well,” a source said, adding, “I haven’t seen her this happy in a long time.”

Sigler, who is living in LA, was introduced to Dykstra through mutual friends, Yankees star Nick Swisher and his actress wife, Joanna Garcia.

Dykstra has been in A and A+ ball since being drafted in the second round of the 2008 draft by the Milwaukee Brewers.

He was sent to the Washington Nationals last year in exchange for Nyjer Morgan and batted .212 with one homerun, 27 RBI and 12 stolen bases in 94 games for Potamac at the A+ level.

No, he probably won’t ever be the ballplayer his dad was. But hey, at least he has a smoking-hot girlfriend. In that regard, I think it’s fair to say he’s the envy of men everywhere.

Hit me up on Twitter—my tweets have won a lot since 2009.

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

Now that New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez has been removed from the clutches of former girlfriend and movie star Cameron Diaz, he has moved on to bigger and better things…so to speak.

USA Today reported on Friday morning that the Yankees slugger is now an item with former WWE Diva Torrie Wilson, and that the two have been seen together vacationing in Cabo San Lucas and Miami.

Wilson, who won the Miss Galaxy competition in 1998 before moving on to bigger and better things herself, retired from the ring in 2008 and was married to former WWE wrestler Peter Gruner, aka Billy Kidman, for five years.

So, just who is Torrie Wilson and why has she gained the affection of A-Rod? Let’s take a look.

Begin Slideshow

At a young age, I decided I wanted to play MLB baseball.

I’ve thought about it, and the moment I am in the clubhouse and put on the authentic jersey for the first time would be the most memorable moment of my life.

I am writing this now, so clearly I didn’t have what it takes.

I guess I can go to my Plan B dream and see hot babes putting on those authentic jersey’s instead.

Enjoy!

Begin Slideshow

Baseball season is in full swing! Yet, there is still one question we don’t know about the game of baseball as it stands today.

No, it has nothing to do about the current MLB standings or anything, but rather, about the hottest WAGs in MLB history. 

Sure we all know of the many girlfriends and wives our favorite baseball players have had over the years, but which girls are the hottest?

Are some of today’s current baseball girlfriends hotter than the girls of yesterday?

Or are wives the way to turn when talking about representing America’s Pastime in the most sexiest way?

Forget bringing a ball and a bat to this game; just bring your best pair of eyes and hold on tight, for you are about to enter a ride through what it is like as a major leaguer.

Here now are the 25 hottest WAGs in MLB history. Enjoy.

Begin Slideshow

The New York Yankees bullpen has received limitless hype and praise early in the season, and they are already being dubbed as the best in MLB—as well as the best in NY since 1996.

While the group has accomplished nothing to this point, this does not mean that a proper nickname should not be added to the front of the hype machine.

It took mere hours for “Miami Thrice” to be created, and “The Fab Five” represents a team that never won a championship in its short time together.

The Philadelphia Phillies already had “the best rotation in MLB history” on April 5th—so there is plenty of precedent to this trend.

I would normally ignore the desire to overreact and create catchy names for the Yankees trio, but then “Jo-So-Mo” suddenly jumped out of Michael Kay’s mouth and into my disappointed ear drums.

While my list is certainly no Mona Lisa, something had to be done in order to find a better option than the Yankees broadcast team could come up with on their own.

Here is a list of 10 possibilities I’m throwing onto the table, and it’s up to all of you to pick your favorites—or add others into the discussion.

Let’s have some fun with this Yankee fans!

Begin Slideshow

Let’s face it (no pun intended), facial hair has always been a part of sports.

But perhaps no sport (other than hockey’s playoff beards) has embraced the hairy visage more than the Great American Pastime, where it’s become more than just facial hair: it’s an identifying trademark.

Be honest, when you think of Rollie Fingers, Dennis Eckersley and Brian Wilson, what do you think of? You probably think of their accolades and escapades on the field, but you also think of the handlebar (Fingers), the thick mustache/mullet combo (Eckersley) and the beard that’s probably the definition of “winning” (Wilson).

So with the MLB season now underway, it’s time to take a look at some of the best facial hair in MLB history. This is the place for some of the most bizarre, out of left field and just epic looks and designs we’ve ever seen.

Without further ado, here’s the list.

Begin Slideshow