Kuzul

Human beard Jonny Gomes decided a lifetime of memories wasn’t enough to savor his 2013 World Series triumph, so he went out and got a massive tattoo to commemorate the moment. 

HardballTalk’s Craig Calcaterra spotted a couple of tweets spawned from a recent bro hangout between Gomes and fellow Red Sox champion Mike Napoli. 

The two took time away from whatever champs do (groom their beards?) to show off a tattoo that is big, ornate and wonderful. 

Here are some images, thanks to Napoli: 

We need to gather our thoughts and enjoy this suddenly relevant clip of Captain Caveman: 

The first thing you will notice is that the tattooed version of Gomes also rocks a fantastic beard. In fact, you could really say this was a nod to his entire team that, as you might recall, was more ZZ Top cover band than baseball club toward the end of the season. 

On one arm, there is a massive tattoo within a tattoo as our bearded victor shows off its “’13,” a permanent ink version of Inception. On the other, we see the iconic World Series trophy. 

If that weren’t enough, an American flag seems to sway beautifully in the background. 

Even the duck boat purchased by Jake Peavy makes a cameo in the art, delivering us just a little worry that Peavy isn’t pictured. Perhaps this bearded tattoo character ran off with the bright-green memento. 

Of course, not everyone is impressed by the new ink, because the dog in the background seems to be over this entire display of shenanigans. 

As for Gomes’ beard, it’s living its last days. 

The Boston Globe’s Peter Abraham reports Gomes “has a deal with Philips Norelco that will involve shaving his beard.”

Not to worry, because there is plenty of facial hair in that tattoo for a team of baseball players. Well, maybe for a far less scruffy one. 

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Fact: A solid foundation of sports knowledge will never be held against you.

You can use it for small talk, impressing strangers and making friends when you’ve been dragged to dinner parties. Also, in the rare event you end up on a gameshow, a command of sporting trivia can help make you cash money. 

Unfortunately for three Jeopardy! contestants, a lack of baseball trivia led to a group miss on a recent airing of the show. The footage was spotted by John Ferensen of Next Impulse Sports. The answer they faced?

“354 wins did not overcome the controversy as this ex-Red Sox pitcher didn’t make the Hall of Fame cut in 2013.”

The contestants gave it a whack, but they unfortunately came up short. As it turns out, neither “Pete Rose,” “Curt Schilling” or “Mark McGwire” were the exact hard-throwing Red Sox pitcher Trebek was looking for.

GIF via Imgur

The name Trebek was looking for was “Roger Clemens.”

To their credit, they tried.

Each of the three contestants rattled off a question that included the name of a retired baseball player whose name has come up in HOF conversation. They deserve a measure of credit for that.

We all have at least one friend who hates baseball—despises it and thinks it’s worse than watching a stump and a jar of paint debate Bird Law on CSPAN. That friend is probably less knowledgeable than these contestants. 

A few of your baseball-hating friends probably don’t even know who Rose is, so keep that in mind before you go crazy with the off-color jokes on these three. 

With that being said, it’s moments like these that make you grateful to have a face and a palm. 

Look for Jeopardy! to keep mining the sports trivia in the name of saving some cash. It’s a popular subject, and evidently, some of the subject matter can be confounding. 

Which basketball player spawned the ‘Air Jordan’ shoeline? I’m sorry, “Wilt Chamberlain” is incorrect.

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And just like that, Alex Rodriguez‘s one-man wolf pack grew by two. 

Yahoo! Sports’ Mike Oz took time away from Hot Stove watching to peruse the Twitter feeds of various MLB stars. 

Thanks to that report, we now have definitive proof that Rodriguez is in great spirits despite his appeal process that continues to linger.

What we have here is the baseball version of bro-ing out or, if you prefer, a snapshot of when gentlemen decide to let their hair down, put on their fancy attire and scream, “Guys’ night out!” in unison.

If you are wondering, being professional athletes means a jaunt out with buddies features a Jay-Z concert. Living the good life with A-Rod is budding star and one of the best fielders in the game, Manny Machado (Baltimore Orioles), as well as Yonder Alonso (San Diego Padres), who did hit nine home runs once. 

Alonso also posted this picture from the festivities. 

Oz does remind us that the link between all three, other than baseball, is Miami. Machado and Rodriguez are both from there and Alonso played at the University of Miami. 

So what does this all mean for you, Joe Q. Baseball Fan? Little. 

It does give us the hope that Rodriguez picked up his boys in his slick ride before the concert and had all three chant, “Let’s get weird!” before blasting a Beyonce song. 

It also means that Rodriguez is a lot closer to Machado than we previously thought. If you recall, Sporting News‘ Troy Machir reported back in June that the newly verified A-Rod was following the wrong Machado on Twitter. 

Well, it’s wrong only if you don’t want the latest scuttlebutt on interior design. 

In 2013, Alonso battled through injuries, managing just 97 games played. Machado, for his part, was having an All-Star season, but suffered a horrible knee injury this past September. And Rodriguez, well, we all know he could have had a better 2013. 

MLB stars are just like regular people, looking forward to the big lights and loud music that is the future. For one Thursday night in January, all of the ills of the world dissolved into sick Jay-Z anthems. 

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Frank Thomas is mediocre—at least that’s what one scout seemed to think back in 1989. 

As Frank Thomas looks forward to possible induction into the Hall of Fame, it’s fun to look back at some scouts who did their best to play baseball soothsayer with the hulking behemoth who once smashed the cover off the ball. 

Busted Coverage pored over a few reports centered on the slugger right before he took his initial steps into MLB legend. 

The following snapshot and scouting assertions come thanks to the archives of Baseballhall.org. Thomas’ page at Diamond Mines features scouting reports from five baseball prognosticators. However, we simply have to start with the most intriguing, Larry Maxie’s report from 1989 (pictured below). 

The part BC found funny and you will no doubt enjoy is the summation that, as best we can tell, reads, “.250 hitter tops, if that. But will hit HR’s (20 on bad year if he gets 500 ABs).” 

That’s essentially like saying Brooks Robinson might be able to stop some grounders from getting through the infield or that Don Drysdale had a slight propensity to throw inside when crowded. 

As we now know, Thomas finished his career a .301 hitter who clubbed 521 home runs and drove in 1,704 runs. 

While he didn’t maintain his prolific output throughout his career, a quick look at his Baseball Reference page is a nice exercise to appreciate his talent anew. 

From 1990 (his age 22 season) to 1997 (29), he managed to hit over .300 every single season, batting a career high .347 in 1997. 

He would then bat .305 and .328 in 1999 and 2000 respectively. What’s more, from 1990 to 2007, his OPS dipped below .800 just once—his 2001 season that saw him play in just 20 games. 

All of this is to say Thomas was very good for a very long time. It’s also important to note the overarching theme here: scouting is hardly an exact science. 

And really, we don’t want to give Maxie too hard a time, because it’s impossible to see every single instance of greatness with 100 percent accuracy. 

If you recall, Busted Coverage spotted a similar scouting report on another former star with eyes on a Hall of Fame prize: Greg Maddux. 

In 1985, Mets scout Duffy Dyer wrote, among other things, that Maddux was, “not strong enough to be a starter.” He also labeled him as tops a Triple-A player. 

Oops. 

To be fair, Maxie does note the otherworldly power. That’s essentially what you get from the other scouting reports as well. 

Mike Rizzo (1988) states, “power and bat are very exciting.” Donald Labossiere (1989) says it best, “Has genuine loft ML power now. His mistakes go 360 feet.” And really those are the best kinds of mistakes. 

CBS Sports’ Mike Axisa seems to think Thomas, a big man who fits the physique of someone suspected of PED use, has long been outspoken against the once popular methods of his colleagues. 

It’s that longtime vocal support for testing that, as Axisa offers, makes Thomas a far better candidate to get into the hall than most. 

The Chicago Sun-Times’ John Grochowski went a step further and proclaimed that Maddux and Thomas are the obvious worthy candidates in this year’s class. 

Regardless, it has to be an honor to merely be considered for inclusion among the sport’s best. If he does get in, it will be pretty darn good for a hitter whom one scout considered to be little more than mediocre. 

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Evelyn Lozada didn’t just get ice for Christmas; she damn near got an entire glacier. 

First, we would like to congratulate Dodgers outfielder Carl Crawford and his bride-to-be, Lozada, on their engagement. Fans following the reality star found out on Christmas Day when the 38-year-old posted a picture of the ring to Instagram with the caption, “Yes!”

Here is that photo featuring a not-small diamond: 

That thing is big enough to host the Winter Olympics. Only, we weren’t quite sure how big that ring was at the time. 

As it turns out, when you’re in the middle of a seven-year, $142 million contract, you can splurge a little when you decide to marry the mother of your child. 

TMZ reports the ring is a whopping 14.5 carats and worth $1.4 million, which should make some of you lucky gentlemen who became engaged over the holidays beam a little brighter knowing the cost of your own purchase could have been far more extreme. 

The star of Basketball Wives took time to speak with People Magazine and happily divulged how she was feeling: “I’m overjoyed and in complete and utter shock! … What a different year and a half it has been – I’m truly happy!”

Earlier this month, Lozada spoke with OMG! Insider, divulging the father of her child due in March was none other than 32-year-old slugger Crawford. 

At the time, she stated: 

I definitely would get married again. I still believe in love … I’m not one of those people that’s like ‘we need to get engaged, we need to get married.’ No, absolutely not. I feel like that’s going to come, just like with the baby, let it come. I’m not forcing anything, so if it happens, it happens.

True to her word, she is once again saying yes to marriage. 

As The Los Angeles Times’ Nadine Saad reminds, Lozada was previously engaged to former NBA player Antoine Walker before marrying former NFL star Chad Johnson. That marriage was ultimately short-lived and featured Johnson’s arrest for domestic violence. 

As Lozada touches upon with People Magazine, “What a different year and a half it has been.” The time to look forward is here and that future looks very bright indeed. 

Although that may be the glitter from the diamond. 

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Hanley Ramirez has a new cut, and it’s what’s known in the fashion business as “a whole thing.”

The Los Angeles Dodgers shortstop recently traded in his curls, opting for a straight, James Brown-esque flow he’s taken to flaunting on Instagram.

Ramirez’s new ‘do was spotted by Jonah Birenbaum of TheScore.com. It’s a look that says “It’s my birthday, I can blow dry if I want to.” 

The former NL Rookie of the Year rang in his 30th birthday with family Sunday. They had cake, and it was beautiful. 

What do you think of the flow? 

It’s reminiscent of Saturday Night Fever, which has its allure. I could picture Ramirez doing the “six guns of sexy” in the background of a Chromeo video with this haircut.

On the other hand, the Kat Williams look doesn’t exactly instill fear in the hearts of opponents.

At the end of the day, what matters in this game is production—which Ramirez cranked out in a relatively short span of games last season.

Ramirez gave a strong showing in 2013, producing 5.1 wins above replacement after only 86 appearances, according to Fangraphs. No mean feat. 

The real question is whether the Dodgers will ink a contract extension with the Dominican pro.

Ramirez baited fans with a tease earlier this December, posting an image to Instagram of himself on a plane, claiming he was headed to Los Angeles. 

The image insinuated he was flying in to sign a contract extension, but in truth, Ramirez was on a plane bound for the Dominican Republic. 

Will Hanley receive his extension? Perhaps. Considering the amount of money he’s probably spending on hair products just to keep his flow shimmering, Ramirez could use the money. 

Join me on Twitter for breaking developments concerning athlete hair.

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Masahiro Tanaka has a terrifying arsenal of pitches, great command of the strike zone and an arm that can handle an exhausting workload. Oh, and he can also beat celebrity chefs at a strike-throwing contest and make the whole thing rather entertaining. 

Yahoo! Sports’ David Brown spotted some recent videos featuring Tanaka enjoying appearances on Japanese television. 

One cameo saw Tanaka tasked with cutting down a bunch of chefs in what looks like a game you might find at any carnival. 

Simply, you toss the ball and knock down each and every numbered board. At least, that’s what we gleaned from Brown’s report as well as the video. 

Not knowing Japanese, I would love to hear from anyone with a firm grasp of the language to explain what kind of quips caused laughter throughout the video. 

Brown also found more footage of Tanaka hanging out with chefs and delving into some televised shenanigans. In the first video, you can see one chef make a reference to Yu Darvish, a Japanese pitcher who has found success in MLB, notching 277 strikeouts in his second year with the Texas Rangers. 

The second video, posted below, features the Rakuten Eagles ace diving into piles of food to offer his own assessment. So if this whole pitching guff doesn’t work out, he has a promo reel for his own food critique show. Hey, it’s far less jarring that watching 30 minutes of Guy Fieri. 

Of course, this is all just nonsense compared to what really matters. USA Today reports on the latest concerning Tanaka and the posting fee that seems to be holding up his joining the growing list of Japanese pitchers that have landed with MLB teams. 

According to the report, Tanaka stated at a news conference, “I informed my team that I would like them to allow me to test my abilities in Major League Baseball next season.”

At the heart of the issue is Rakuten officials wanting more than the $20 million posting fee that is caped under the new system, less than other teams received for the likes of Yu Darvish and Daisuke Matsuzaka. 

The hope, for MLB fans, is things get worked out and Tanaka can find his way onto a big league roster, because we simply have to see him battle Mario Batali in some sort of athletic contest. 

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A picture may be worth a thousand words, but Jaime Edmondson only really needed a few to convey her tremendous news. She and Tampa Bay Rays star Evan Longoria are getting married. 

Here is the wonderful news via tweet from Edmondson followed by confirmation from The Tampa Bay Times’ Marc Tompkin. 

If you are wondering, the little girl who steals the show in the photos is the couple’s bundle of joy, Elle. Back in March, Tompkin reported the little girl was born on Feb. 20, six weeks earlier than expected.

Now the couple has a way of getting out ahead of the usual media frenzy that accompanies such a story. Back in Dec. of 2012, Edmondson decided to officially announce that the couple was pregnant with an equally adorable picture of a baby jersey hanging right alongside Longoria‘s. 

Longoria rewarded the Rays for their six-year, $100 million contract extension with a strong season, playing in 160 games, batting .269, hitting 32 home runs and driving in 88 runs. 

Edmondson is Playboy’s Miss January 2010 and, as she references in her Twitter bio, a sports blogger for the magazine. 

Tompkin reports on Tuesday that the couple have explained they are hoping for a January 2016 wedding, which seems like a ways off, but then you consider they have more pressing matters.

The report states the two are actually more concerned with expanding their family first, so we may see another small-jersey picture before wedding images appear. 

Now there isn’t a great deal of information on how Longoria popped the big question, merely that he did so about a week before Thanksgiving, meaning we are all the last to know. 

Good luck trying to find a clue on either’s Twitter feed. Although, Edmondson did tweet this out on Nov. 23.

Whatever it was, I am sure Longoria did it with class and sophistication, staying clear of the trap of asking his future wife at a live sporting event. 

With that, we offer Edmondson and Longoria well on their trip toward matrimony and, as it seems, their ever-growing family. 

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If it were profitable, Alex Rodriguez would get on the biggest hill he could find, spin around and sing his story for all to hear like a baseball Julie Andrews. Instead, he is opting to just write a tell-all book about his plight and possibly secure a documentary feature. 

Emily Smith, writing for the New York Post‘s “Page Six,” reports the Yankees’ star third baseman is close to securing a profitable format to explain his side of an ongoing drama.  

First, he has to settle on a publisher. A final decision is still a few weeks off, but HarperCollins and Random House are the two hoping to secure the rights. 

Rodriguez is also hoping to chronicle all that has happened to him in the wake of his 211-game suspension and subsequent hearings in the form of a documentary. 

Alex has also recently had several meetings with filmmaker Billy Corben — whose work includes the acclaimed “Cocaine Cowboys,” which depicts Miami drug culture in the 1970s and ’80s — about making a documentary about his battle to stay on the field.

This should please that very specific demographic of fans who aren’t already weary of the ongoing circus surrounding Rodriguez at the moment. 

Rodriguez spoke to reporters this past weekend while participating in David Ortiz’s charity golf tournament in Punta Cana, per ESPN, and was hopeful. According to A-Rod, there isn’t much to be worried about in regard to his suspension handed down by the league for his part in the Biogenesis scandal.

Rodriguez believes the arbitrator, Fredric Horowitz, will see fit to grant Rodriguez some playing time next season: 

Yes, I feel confident. I’m preparing as always, working hard. I feel completely healthy, I have the entire offseason to prepare for it…We have to get out of this and start talking baseball, about the good things with MLB and about my hard training work to get back in the middle of the Yankees’ lineup.

It being early in the proceedings, there isn’t a great deal of information surrounding the potential book.

Smith did glean a nice round number from a source close to the negotiations, however: “A number of publishers are vying for the book, with offers coming in over $5 million. Alex has met with several publishers over the past few weeks and has meetings with others right after the new year.”

As for the documentary, Rodriguez is hoping for production similar to ESPN’s documentary series 30 for 30, which makes sense because Billy Corben, along with Alfred Spellman, directed the popular The U. 

All of this must have you thinking that everything is coming up A-Rod in the financial department. Well, Smith does remind that Rodriguez has huge bills to pay in the form of his legal representation, and he could still lose out on over a season’s worth of salary. 

We aren’t about to hold a telethon for Rodriguez, but we are sure any book/documentary deal would go a long way to shore up anything a millionaire might consider financially strenuous. 

If not, there is always the money he will get from his recent real estate endeavors. Back in May, the 38-year-old sold his Miami mansion for a reported $15 million profit. 

Now, via Realtor.com, Rodriguez is hoping to sell his Miami condo for a cool $1 million profit. 

All of this is to say you don’t have to fret about Rodriguez, because we know how you all were making yourselves sick with worry over the MLB star. 

From the looks of things, Rodriguez will be just fine. 

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The season might be over, but Yasiel Puig is still playing baseball at Dodger Stadium, making sure to keep around those who might actually appreciate his antics.

CBS Sports’ Matt Snyder spotted a refreshing sight recently: a tweet from Dodgers PR person Yvonne Carrasco showing off Puig playing baseball with a reported 50 kids from the neighborhood.

Carrasco continues by tweeting the kids are from Northeast Los Angeles Little League. Here is the Dodgers’ exciting and polarizing phenom throwing some soft toss to a young fan.

MLB.com’s Ken Gurnick has more, including the wonderful impetus behind the baseball clinic. It seems the kids’ league actually overlooks the stadium’s parking lot.

A few weeks back, Puig visited the park and spoke with some of the children, and that’s when one of them relayed that he had never actually been to Dodger Stadium.

Consider that remedied.

He didn’t just let the kids see the stadium. He had them experience as much of it as he could possibly offer: pitching 40 minutes of batting practice, giving tours to the clubhouse where the Little Leaguers enjoyed the feeling of sitting at the lockers and letting them take some hacks in the cages.

Puig told Gurnick, “I played Little League when I was 9, went through the system, and now I’m grateful that I’m able to do this for these kids.” The 22-year-old who took over MLB this season added, “Maybe they’ll be able to support me when I get old.”

As long as they don’t turn into crotchety curmudgeons who continue to whine about the “sanctity of the game,” we don’t see why they wouldn’t.

Many of you hear the name Puig and immediately grimace and think of a young man who makes errant throws and attempts to turn singles into triples.

While he may need some education on the finer points of the fundamentals of the game, don’t ever make the mistake of proclaiming he doesn’t get what’s most important about the sport.

MLB, as with any sport, is here to lift spirits and invigorate fans. Puig is rather masterful at doing both.

Now, if seeing Puig give back to the community wasn’t enough to turn that grumpy frown upside down, consider that the young fella is already working hard for next season.

If you are into prolific posting, follow his Instagram feed. There you will find things like the following—Puig training hard at Dodgers facilities.

Puig might overthrow a cutoff man every now and again, and he does have the propensity to swing at balls outside the strike zone.

Heck, he still needs some work on routine plays in the outfield.

But he is the future of the Dodgers organization, and that should make all the Angelenos still wearing blue in November very proud.

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