Kuzul

Sit back and laugh at the hilarious moment Trevor Plouffe found out that the awesome play he just made was destroyed by a baseball that had no intentions of leaving his glove. 

Granted, the Minnesota Twins third baseman probably doesn’t share the Internet’s need to LOL in his general direction. 

Deadspin spotted this odd moment that ended in a somewhat humbling web gem. In the second inning of Monday’s game against the New York Mets, Plouffe dove to his left and made a terrific grab to smother the shot hit by Juan Lagares. 

Unfortunately, that ball was quite comfortable in the glove’s webbing, and decides to take the afternoon off. 

If that weren’t frustrating enough, Lagares—who was credited with a single—would later score on a hit from Eric Young. In the end, the Twins would drop this one to the Mets, 6-1. 

Something tells me they wanted no part of the baseball field by the end of the day, because when the balls weren’t bouncing their way, they were busy getting stuck in gloves. 

Now this isn’t as rare as you might think, because there are a few players who understand Plouffe‘s plight all too well. 

Back in March, an Oregon Ducks pitcher had the ball stuck in his glove so he decided to toss his mitt to first for what would be a successful out. 

Former Giants pitcher Terry Mulholland did nearly the same thing, as did former Yankees pitcher Orlando Hernandez.  

As it were, it seems we missed the opportunity to see what it would look like for a third baseman to launch his glove from the other side of the field. 

It was a great stop, but you need a little work on the finish, Plouffe. 

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To be fair, she did have a better angle on the ball.

MLB.com’s Cut 4 posted a video that proves even the ballgirl feels bad for the San Francisco Giants this season, because she tried to lend a hand with a recent pop foul.

We take you to the ninth inning of Monday night’s game between the Giants and visiting Boston Red Sox at AT&T Park.

Jose Mijares pitches to Stephen Drew, who promptly fouls the ball to the third base side. Now we should note the Giants were down 7-0 at this point, seeing Tim Lincecum get touched up for nine hits and five earned runs over five innings.

Knowing how helpful San Franciscans can be, we will assume this ballgirl was just trying to do a solid for her favorite team.

OK, the more plausible scenario is that she just forgot where she was or what her duties entailed, because she very nearly robs Joaquin Arias of the last out of the top of the inning.

Seeing as Arias came into the game to play third base in the ninth inning, you know he was just itching for some action, and then he very nearly had that opportunity taken from him.

Let’s recap for those ballboys and ballgirls out there. The center fielder has priority in the outfield, but the shortstop can call off all others in the infield. As for the third baseman, he supersedes the pitcher and handles pop-ups in his general area.

As it just so happens, he also trumps the ballgirl, whose job it is to merely sit on the sidelines and never, ever go after a pop fly, no matter how awesome that ball looks.

While it’s hilarious to us, Arias doesn’t look pleased in the slightest.

Now someone keep her away from the bat rack before she tries to take some hacks.

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If you’re a relief pitcher in the outfield bullpen and want to get a highlight, you need to get creative. Minnesota’s Jared Burton was up to the task.

No, a bullpen brawl did not erupt just as as the baseball sailed over the fence in the second inning of Friday’s double-header between the Twins and White Sox. 

According to Phil Miller of the Star Tribune, “When Chris Colabello swung at the John Danks’ second-inning pitch in Game 1, Brian Duensing jumped up in the Twins’ bullpen and yelled at Jared Burton, ‘C’mon — Punch me! Punch me!'”

They had reportedly been planning the prank for a long time, and we’re glad they did. 

Hat tip to NBC Sports for the GIF and the Star Tribune for the insight. 

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Bud Selig lives the thug life—at least that’s the word from disgruntled Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban. 

The NBA owner spoke with Jay Leno on Thursday’s The Tonight Show and discussed a great many things, most of which did little to help his cause to one day own an MLB franchise. 

The video posted covers what he has to say about the MLB commissioner and the suspension levied against Yankees star Alex Rodriguez. 

The Dallas Morning News transcribed Cuban’s thoughts on Rodriguez’s suspension: 

Horrible. I think it’s disgraceful what major league baseball is trying to do to him. Not that he doesn’t deserve to be suspended. He does. But they have policies in place, first-time offender 50 games, second time a 100. 214 games? That’s personal. 

It should be noted Rodriguez has been suspended 211 games—a suspension he formally appealed on Wednesday, allowing him an opportunity to play out the rest of the season. 

Cuban then went on to recount the time he attempted to bid for the Texas Rangers. As ESPN reminds us, the successful Mavericks owner bid $1.3 billion for the Cubs in 2008 but was not allowed into the final bidding process the following year. 

He then attempted to procure the Rangers with a bid of $600 million to no avail—giving him a sense the majors are indeed a “good ol‘ boys” club, and he doesn’t mind sharing that sentiment. 

We don’t pretend to know exactly why Selig or MLB officials would apparently shun Cuban. It’s clear the outspoken Mavericks owner, who is known to chirp at NBA referees, would bring a voice and persona that, while beloved by fans, might make the league uncomfortable. 

Of course, that is all conjecture, much the same as Cuban’s sentiments that Selig is not a man who likes to be tested. 

In an odd turn, Rodriguez has an ally in Cuban. Unfortunately for the Yankees star, that doesn’t help his cause, because Selig doesn’t seem to be all that fond of the Cubes. 

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MLB‘s steroid era won’t culminate in some end date or announcement the sport is completely clean. It will take place gradually, with regret that looms for decades.

According to ESPN Los Angeles’ Arash Markazi, Mark McGwire feels awful about his part in the steroid era, and he is ready to turn the page:

I wish I was never a part of it. Just get rid of it. If it’s better to have bigger suspensions, then they’re going to have to change it.

I wish there were things in place earlier. They were put in in 2003 I think. I just really hope and pray that this is the end of it. Everybody, especially the players, don’t want any more part of it, and I hope this is the end of it. … I wish I was never part of it.

It’s not worth it at all. 

The man who once blasted awe-inspiring home runs when the sport absolutely needed it is now the hitting coach for the red-hot Los Angeles Dodgers.

On Monday, fans similar to those who cheered for McGwire as he chased records and belted mammoth dingers were busy booing Alex Rodriguez for his part in an ongoing Biogenesis scandal.

MLB suspended 13 players for violating its drug policy, including Rodriguez, who in 2009 offered an emotional mea culpa for his use of PEDs between 2001 and 2003.

The times, they are changing.

As reported, McGwire admitted to using steroids when he broke baseball’s home run record in 1998. Now before you berate the man anew, remember how amazing it was to see balls fly out of the park just a few years removed from the 1994-95 strike.

A bulked-up McGwire and a buffed-out Sammy Sosa put butts back in the seats. Officials, fans and media looked away because the drugs now considered deplorable were making the sport a captivating spectacle.

Well, those steroids served their use and are now chewed up and spit out like a wad of used tobacco. Major league baseball, the media, fans and, most importantly, the players have all changed their tune.

Enhancing performance through pills, injections and shortcuts are out; playing baseball “clean” is very much in.

A little over a year removed from MLB’s current collective bargaining agreement being signed, players are already chiming in with calls for stiffer penalties on cheaters.

Nick Markakis recently stated he was all in for far stiffer penalties on players who test positive for any amount of PEDs. Dustin Pedroia trumpeted Monday as a good day for baseball, and Evan Longoria proclaimed caught players were being selfish.

McGwire is a big name and familiar face from an era that will never be forgotten, no matter how hard baseball tries.

What’s remarkable is the change that is taking place among players who now vilify colleagues who take shortcuts when they were once more likely to follow their lead.

The man who hit 583 home runs in his career touched upon that very thing:

It doesn’t matter what I think; I think it matters what the players think, and from what I hear every day in the clubhouse, they’re just happy it’s coming to an end. They’re happy that Major League Baseball is taking care of it and we can move forward. Hopefully this will be the end of it.

Baseball will never be truly clean. It’s a microcosm of the world and will always have those looking for an edge.

Don’t expect a specific date that will mark the end of an unfortunate era. Much as it slowly took over baseball, it will slowly dissolve from its ranks.

Just know that the epoch of juicers is in its final days. Thankfully, it seems like brighter ones are ahead.

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Warning: Video contains NSFW language and near toxic levels of bro commentary.

*Update*

A mugshot of “Fountain Lady” has surfaced.

According to Joe Kinsey of Busted Coverage, the woman is now being called “Fountain Mom” by local Kansas City radio station 96.5 The Buzz. The station alleges the woman is a 25-year-old from Des Moines, Iowa. According to The Buzz, Fountain Mom was arrested and has been charged with trespassing, resisting arrest and soliciting. Perhaps those playful shirt-flips have been interpreted as more than an exhibition.

No public intoxication charge has been filed, so it’s possible Fountain Woman wasn’t intoxicated during her theatrics on Monday. Her mugshot still suggests otherwise.

*End of Update*

Join two intrepid bros as they chronicle the spectacle of the summer—a seemingly over-served fan taking on the slippery heights of the Kauffman Stadium fountains in Kansas City.

The incident occurred in the middle of Monday night’s matchup between the Kansas City Royals and the Minnesota Twins, when a woman in a Royals shirt endeavored in some slick parkour and ended up wading through the elevated fountains behind the stadium’s right field wall. 

Video of the woman’s trip into Waterworld was discovered by CBS Sports, and features an ongoing narrative of two bros watching intently as she navigates the multilevel fountain like an aquatic Aggro Crag.

Anticipation builds and the bro commentary continues to roll as the woman clambers over narrow lips toward one of the stadium’s waterfall. She eventually finds a dry platform next to the falling water and begins putting on an exhibition for fans.

Image via @SDBassCreature

Image via @SDBassCreature

As the bros in the video point out, the situation presented a unique problem for stadium officials, who have no way to reach the woman without jumping into the water themselves.

Eventually the fan gives up the ghost and crawls up a ledge into the waiting arms of security. She was last seen leaving the park in handcuffs.

Image via @SDBassCreature

Image via @SDBassCreature

It has yet to be confirmed whether his woman was incredibly inebriated or just overheated, but the temperature in the stadium for the night time game was 85 degrees—not exactly submerge-to-stay-alive conditions. Couple that with the Hurricane glass full of blue drink she’s toting with her, and all signs indicate this fan was sailor-drunk when she decided to pull her watery stunt.

That being said, a fan going loose seal in a giant multi-tier fountain is certainly a change of pace from the typical field-rushing goons who need Twitter to tell them to live dangerously.

Royals fans were treated to a show on Monday, and for better or worse, it’ll likely be one they ever forget.

Join me on Twitter, where this incident has already spawned a fake account.

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Sometimes it takes a little more than just brute strength to open a water bottle. 

Mets announcers discussed the muscular man’s workout program after watching him struggle mightily to get his Aquafina to open. At the end of the video, the man appears to give up and either returns his bottle or requests a new one.

Let’s hope he was properly hydrated before all of this went down.

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Boston Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester allowed a season-high 11 hits in just 4.1 innings Friday, his worst outing of the season. Apparently, to take his mind off his awful start, he played a little Temple Run and was pretty proud of his score. The only problem with this was that it was still the ninth inning when he shared his achievement.

The tweet has since been deleted, but Lester had the autotweet function enabled on his phone so it automatically shared his score of 1,209 (which isn’t anything to brag about, coming from someone who plays often). Lester later blamed his three-year-old son for sharing the score.

In the end, Lester avoided the loss because the Red Sox rallied in the bottom of the sixth inning to tie the score before ultimately losing 7-6.

Hat tip to Larry Brown Sports for the find. 

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Miami Marlins relief pitcher Chad Qualls‘ showing on Tuesday exemplified the Marlins season perfectly; even when things go well, they still seem to fail spectacularly.

Qualls allowed a triple at the beginning of the eighth inning against the Mets with the score tied 2-2. After he struck out Omar Quintanilla for the final out to keep the score even, Qualls‘ celebratory fist pump went awry as his feet got caught under him, and he did a full face plant into the infield. The reliever tried to play it off as if he were attempting a fist-pump somersault, but it’s clear from the video that he didn’t quite keep his footing.

Another angle of the tumble.

The most embarrassing part of this for him, however, is that this isn’t the first time Qualls has done something like this in a game. Here he is falling on a pickoff attempt while playing for the Phillies.

Some athletes just aren’t as sure on their feet as others, apparently.

Hat tip to Larry Brown Sports for the GIFs. 

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In case you were wondering, Andrelton Simmons can hit, field, dribble, bounce, kick and juggle a baseball effectively. 

David Brown of Big League Stew spots this MLB Fan Cave video that features a few Atlanta Braves players as they attempt to juggle a baseball on a bat and then smack it into the stands. 

It’s nice to know that even professional athletes can look extremely awkward sometimes. 

Luis Ayala gets a few bounces in before losing the ball completely; Chris Johnson is just as successful—essentially he isn’t. 

That’s when Paul Janish steps up to bounce the ball a few times on his bat before knocking one off his chest. As David Brown notes, all of this sort of reminds us of the Tiger Woods commercial when he did something similar.

Thankfully, Simmons has this bouncy-ball trick thingy on lockdown. 

This is just the latest sign that the force is strong in this one. The 23-year-old is coming off a 3-for-5 performance to help the Braves get a win over the Rockies on Monday night. 

In the last three games, Simmons is 7-for-13 with two doubles and a triple. Oh, and 102 games in, he is getting stronger, according to ESPN’s Buster Olney.

Andrelton Simmons said after the game last night that he feels he’s getting stronger physically. Showed it there, hitting that RBI laser.

— Buster Olney (@Buster_ESPN) July 30, 2013 

Perhaps we can expect far more random Jedi tricks to amaze baseball fans in the future. Hell, instead of walking up to the plate like a normal player, Simmons should send a souvenir into the crowd with this exact same trick. 

The Braves are in first place by nine games and are on a four-game winning streak. Sure, that’s impressive, but I simply need to see more of Simmons juggling a baseball. 

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